He’s the worst. He eats off your plate without asking and hits on your girlfriend right in front of you. He’s THAT guy. If you are guilty of any of the following, it’s time to take a long look in the mirror because there is a good chance you might be THAT GUY.
1. The person who brags about how late they were up the previous night. Like if you yawn at school and someone asks “Tired?” and you say “Yeah, I was up late working on that assignment last night” and then that guy comes in and says “You think you’re tired? I’ve only slept 10 minutes in the last 6 years!” and you’re like “Great.”
2. Schrodinger’s douchebag: A guy who says really offensive things and decides whether or not he was joking based upon the reaction of people around him.
3. That Guy who doesn’t have an open bar at his wedding.
4. I hate the ones who race to a red light. You can’t fucking go. Calm your happy feet, bitch.
5. That guy who leaves the microwave timer at 0:01.
6. Always borrows stuff or money and says "Thanks man! I’ll get ya back”…but he never does, he NEVER. DOES.
7. That guy who pees in the middle urinal when there’s only 3 urinals.
8. A friend of mine walks into stores with music playing from his phone in his back pocket. Everyone gives him dirty looks. In the car, I’ll be driving and he starts playing music from his phone speakers on Pandora.
Me: “Uhhh dude, I have a radio, you don’t have to do that”
Him: “I really like this station”
9. Not bringing beer to a party, but drinking everyone else’s. Or the cousin of that move, bringing shitty beer to a party, throwing it in the cooler and drinking the better beer everyone else brought.
10. My friend brought her new boyfriend to a party to introduce him around. He was a “DJ from Chicago and was soo cool"…This dude made a silhouette print of his own face, put it on a t-shirt and wore it to this party in total seriousness. He also wore sunglasses inside at night and it definitely wasn’t to be ironic.
11. Chooses number 69 for their jersey.
12. The person who mixes M&M’s and Skittles at a birthday party.
13. That guy who says ‘awkward’ for every pause in a conversation.
14. Hat on backwards, sunglasses around the back of your neck, and using your hand as a visor to block the sun.
15. Basically, everything Ben Affleck does in Dazed and Confused.
16. He carries an acoustic guitar on his back, and isn’t afraid to play Wonderwall.