When you hear someone has a sled, it typically conjures up a picturesque scene of Americana, the kind Norman Rockwell refused to stop painting, no matter how much it doomed this nation with nostalgia. You think of childhood, you dwell on Citizen Kane, you try to forget Snow Dogs—but one Canadian man reworked that whole mental image when he got caught in Vermont smuggling 182 pounds of Xanax by sled across the U.S. border.
I know, you probably considered the Millennium Falcon a more reliable smuggling option than a sled, but, according to WMUR 9, this 21-year-old dude from Quebec got snagged in the wee hours of the morning when an arm of the U.S. Customs and Border Proection crew got word of strange activity on the railroad tracks that lead from the border.
What they found was Cedrick Bourgault-Morin in white camouflage pulling a sled with a duffel bag filled with 300 vacuum-sealed bags of the meds (technically known as aprazolam), worth a bonkers total of $1.6 million.
If you’re wondering if the duffel bag was also in white camo, it was; if you thought he should’ve covered up the bag with snow, he tried. This had all the makings of an indie movie climax.
Anyway, the real lesson here is that Snow Dogs is still terrible and you should watch Iron Will.
[H/T Death and Taxes]