Did you know for the cost of a promotional Subway sandwich you can get a complete stranger to complete a very bizarre request for you on the internet? No, this doesn’t involve nudity with a webcam, but rather a site called Fiverr. People with all different talents and abilities offer their services starting at a mere $5. There are graphic artists, voice actors, business card designers, and much more. Then there are those that get a little bizarre with their services. Here are some of weirdest things you can get someone to do for you for $5.

1) How many times have you needed to send a threatening letter from Sri Lanka, but just couldn’t find the time? Well worry yourself no longer, because for five bucks this guy will send one of those serial killer-style letters to anyone you want.

2) Fiverr is full of talented artists that can do some incredible work for a small amount of money. Or if that isn’t your thing, you can always have this girl burp your name for the same price. Either way, it’s money well spent.

3) This man will cover himself in vegetables and record a minute-long 1080p video of him saying whatever you want. Are the vegetables fresh? Organic? I just want to know what sort of produce I’m talking about before I invest my cash.

4) Now you can get a beautiful logo or message spelled out using nothing but pills. How many drugs are you taking that you have enough to start a business spelling out words with them?

5) According to his page, it normally takes around three days to get your video of him cracking an egg over his head. Seems reasonable.

6) I’m just going to leave this one here because I’m pretty sure you’re all thinking what I’m thinking.

7) Need someone to pretend to be your boyfriend on Facebook? If you’ve got five bucks, this guy has got you covered! He’ll even post sweet messages on your wall and, best of all, he’ll stay your Facebook friend after your fake relationship ends. Awwww.

8) For $5 this person will make some waffles that look exactly like Spongebob Squarepants. You don’t get to eat them and they don’t mail them to you. You just get to see the waffle. That’s it.

9) If I walked up to you and said that, in exchange for giving me money, I would smoke a pipe and say whatever you wanted, would you be interested? But what if I told you that it was on the internet? Huh? Anything?

10) This fella will record a video of his girlfriend tying him up and tickling his feet. Is that a sex thing? Be honest.

11) Wanna get out of school or work for the day? This random guy will call and tell them that you’re sick. Or if you have any friends at all, you can also get them to do it for you. Better yet, have your doctor do it when you’re sick.

12) For $5 this lady will make a video pretending to be a girl you, or someone you know, drunkenly impregnated in Vegas. This is a great way to get out of weekend plans or a marriage.

13) Have you ever wanted your company name or a message written on someone’s lips before? Sure you have! This lady will use a marker and write whatever you want on her lips. Finally!

14) Can’t decide what name to give the child that’s been growing inside of you for 9 months? Why not give a complete stranger $5 to do it for you? That definitely won’t cause your kid mental trauma for decades.

Rob is a writer and comedian based in Louisville, KY. Follow @robfee on Twitter.