DS: When NPR put "SantaLand Diaries" on the radio, about working as an elf at Macy's, there's a point in the story where this elf named Snowball is flirting with me. The story was edited down to seven minutes, and people were listening to it, and at that point, the audience thinks, "Oh, he's gay." And then the story moves on, and it has nothing to do with me being gay. Somebody wrote in to the radio station saying, "I listened to that story about that pederast who worked at Macy's." I was thinking, "Pederast? What story?" I'm thinking, "I would love to hear a story about a pederast at Macy's." Then I realized he meant me, just for being gay and being around kids. But most people just moved on with the story.
PB: In the story "See You Again Yesterday" in the latest collection, you make a list of your odd purchases: a two-headed calf skull, an ashtray in the shape of a protracted molar, suede fetus complete with umbilical cord.... What's the strangest thing you've gotten recently?
DS: What was the most disgusting thing I got recently....? Hugh gave me a pig, and it's made out of pigskin. It's a mechanical pig, but it looks just like a pig. It has little beady porcelain eyes. You roll it up and it runs across the floor and squeals. It has little serrated wheels on its feet. I used to collect windup toys, and I've looked at them all over the world. I've never seen anything like this pig. Nothing about it is childlike or cartoonish. I just like the fact that it's made out of real pigskin.
PB: In "You Can't Kill the Rooster," your description of your brother Paul makes him seem like an HBO sitcom character referring to family members either as "bitch" or "motherfucker," calling your father to say things like, "Motherfucker, I ain't seen pussy in so long, I'd throw stones at it," and showing up to Christmas dinner with a black eye from a bar brawl. Were all those details about him true?
DS: It was very, very accurate. He got married two weeks ago, on the coast of North Carolina. He chose this motel because they allowed you to have dogs. He has a pug and a Great Dane. After the wedding ceremony, I went out with him to walk the dogs and his pug shit on the grass. I said, "Paul, don't you need to clean that up? The lawn's sorta nice." And he'd trained his Great Dane to eat the pug's shit. [Laughs] I just love that combination of being really lazy and really smart.
PB: Did he mind how you portrayed him in that story?
