Nasty, surly, bitchy, smarmy, loutish, imperious, vain, vicious, loathsome, arrogant, smug, snide, obnoxious, rude and mean. Those are only some of the adjectives that have been applied to Simon Cowell during his reign as executioner on American Idol, which on January 16 begins its sixth season on Fox.

Cowell, 47, is the grandest prime-time villain since J.R. Ewing, overshadowing fellow Idol judges Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul and host Ryan Seacrest. With a lordly flair and a stagy British accent, he dismisses aspiring singers with a roll of his eyes or a lash of his tongue.

He started his career in the mail room at EMI; his father, Eric, a prosperous executive, ran the company's property division. But the younger Cowell struggled in the music business and even went bankrupt. At the age of 30 he returned home to live with his father and mother, Julie, who remains very close to her son. Cowell made his breakthrough by signing a deal with Robson & Jerome, a pair of British actors who had sung the Righteous Brothers hit "Unchained Melody" on a TV show but weren't interested in recording. Cowell persisted, telephoning the pair repeatedly, and their record became the top-selling British single of 1995.

Soon he had cornered the market in shamelessness and attained a lucrative position releasing novelty records; he signed the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and the World Wrestling Federation, including its most gruesome wrestler, the Undertaker. Most of his acts, including Curiosity Killed the Cat, 5ive and Sinitta, had only flashy, fleeting success, though he also signed Westlife, an Irish boy band that now has more U.K. number one hits than anyone except Elvis Presley and the Beatles.

American Idol debuted inauspiciously in June 2002 as a summer replacement series on Fox, after the program had been rejected by ABC, NBC, CBS, the WB and UPN. The show was based on Pop Idol, which had premiered on TV in the U.K. the previous October. It was devised by Cowell -- the only judge to appear on both programs -- and Simon Fuller, a Brit who had managed the Spice Girls. By the time season one ended, with Kelly Clarkson's victory, American Idol had an audience of more than 26 million viewers.

The division of riches seemed tidy: Cowell released Idol-related records on his Sony BMG-distributed label, while Fuller owned part of the show and managed the Idol winners' careers. But in 2004 the two partners ended up in a legal battle after Cowell produced a new U.K. talent competition, The X Factor, and Fuller accused him of stealing the idea from Pop Idol. The lawsuit was settled, with Cowell agreeing to return to Idol for five more seasons. Recently he has become a reality-TV magnate, producing three other shows (American Inventor, America's Got Talent and Celebrity Duets), with as many as 10 more programs going into production.

Playboy Contributing Editor Rob Tannenbaum spent two afternoons with Cowell in his London office. "Simon's mouth is always in motion," he reports. "One minute he's eating fruit, drinking tea or taking drops to combat migraines. The next he's giving instructions to his assistant -- whom he addresses as 'sweetheart,' as he does most women -- or he's on the phone, giving typically strong opinions: 'It's stupid, stupid, stupid. It's just pathetic, in fact.'

"He's too cheeky and mischievous to really be a tyrant, but it doesn't look fun to be on the receiving end of a Cowell insult. He told me he gets ornery only when bored, so I did my best not to bore him."

next
01 · 02 · 03 · 04