PLAYBOY: Most of us are hurt by rejection. It doesn't seem to bother you.

COWELL: I'd rather get a positive reaction than a rejection, but it happens. And you just think, Well, you don't know what you're talking about, and I'm right.

PLAYBOY: You've said Idol isn't really a music show; it's a soap opera.

COWELL: Yes. You identify with some people on the show, you hate some, and you like some.

PLAYBOY: Every soap opera needs a villain. Who's the villain on Idol?

COWELL: Sometimes me, sometimes Paula. [laughs]

PLAYBOY: But mostly....

COWELL: Mostly me. When people first tuned in, what I was saying probably seemed a bit harsh. Hopefully audiences have become more savvy in what they're listening to. I think we've made all of America into music critics. They know about bad pitch and singing sharp or flat. And I think that unless I'm just being gratuitously rude, which occasionally I am, then I'm making a point people agree with. The stats back me up. We've probably had half a million people apply for American Idol. And how many careers have we launched off the back of that, true careers? Not many.

PLAYBOY: How many?

COWELL: Two, three maybe. Even with that kind of mass exposure, it's still difficult. All I'm saying on the show is, look, it's really difficult if you're good. It's actually impossible if you're average. So let me allow you to do something with your life that you're good at, rather than give you a stupid comment like "With a few singing lessons everything will turn around." Well, it won't. So I think people understand that I'm sort of being kind, actually. [laughs]

PLAYBOY: A case of cruel to be kind?

COWELL: Yes.

PLAYBOY: Have you ever said anything you regret?

COWELL: Yeah, many, many times. But having said that----

PLAYBOY: You'd do it again?

COWELL: [Laughs] You have to go into an audition room and say what's on your mind. Maybe when you watch it later you're in a good mood, but at the audition you were in a bad mood, so you go, "Oh God, I went a bit too far." Or the backstory comes into the equation, which you don't hear in the audition -- the singer's dog died yesterday, he walks in and you're really dismissive.

PLAYBOY: Do you look at contestants and think, Oh, you poor shmuck?

COWELL: Yeah, I think that a lot. I mean, the odds are just appalling. I'm actually quite happy when a 17-year-old walks in and sings badly, I tell them they sing badly, and they go, "Thank you for saving me from a lifetime of pain." No problem -- shake my hand! Enjoy your life.

PLAYBOY: Are you playing a character on the show?

COWELL: I wouldn't say that. If you ask my friends if the person on TV is who they know in real life, most would say I'm exactly like that.

PLAYBOY: So far you've been pretty nice to us. Where's the sarcasm?

COWELL: Well, you haven't asked me to judge you, really.

PLAYBOY: Okay, then, how are the questions so far?

COWELL: Interesting. And strange -- not many people have asked me if I'd sign a murderer.

PLAYBOY: You realize the show's more interesting if you play the villain.

COWELL: On TV I feel a sense of freedom to be more unpleasant than I would be in a social environment. I can't bear political correctness. I absolutely loathe it. I sort of feel I'm in this brilliant PC-free zone for a while, where I can be more real and say what people normally say. There's no script and no rehearsals; all I have to do is play it for real. And if occasionally I go, "I've got nothing to say," I'm still paid to say that.

PLAYBOY: You're known for wearing black T-shirts. Do you genuinely like them, or have they become a trademark?

COWELL: I think the black T-shirt thing has to go. I saw myself wearing a tight black T-shirt recently and thought I looked ridiculous. I'm too old for that.

PLAYBOY: The New York Times reported you earn more than $30 million a year from Fox. Is that too high, too low or about right?

COWELL: I have a confidentiality agreement, so I cannot discuss that. Seriously, I would love to tell you, but I can't.

PLAYBOY: If it's more than $30 million, tap your foot twice.

COWELL: I'm smiling. It was a good deal.

PLAYBOY: And you work on the show only for an hour and a half a week.

COWELL: Yes, when the show goes live, it's an hour and a half of screen time.

PLAYBOY: It's not an arduous job, is it?

COWELL: No, it's not.

PLAYBOY: The past season was pretty controversial. You made some comments about performers' weight and sexuality.

COWELL: Whose?

PLAYBOY: You don't remember saying about Mandisa, "Do we have a bigger stage?"

COWELL: Oh that. That was a bit controversial, yeah. I'm not excusing what I said, but she had left the room. I was being a smartass, and it was picked up on camera. Under normal circumstances that would not be in the show. I was uncomfortable about it.

PLAYBOY: How about the Charles Barry comment?

COWELL: Who's he?

PLAYBOY: The guy you said should shave his beard and wear a dress.

COWELL: Oh him. I thought that was a good comment.

PLAYBOY: You don't think you were baiting him and implying he was gay?

COWELL: No! Look, in my view, he was gay. Who cares? He would probably make more money singing in drag clubs than trying to be an R&B singer.

PLAYBOY: Ah, so you were suggesting a career path for him. You were being helpful yet again.

COWELL: Yes, I was. I thought so. He didn't. I don't think there was too much controversy about that. I know the Mandisa thing caused problems. Let's put it this way: I wouldn't have booked myself on The View the week after that.

PLAYBOY: What about the night you said Ryan Seacrest's favorite song is "It's Raining Men," implying he's gay?

COWELL: This is continual. We just wind each other up. He's one of my best friends.

PLAYBOY: Can you understand why some people were offended that you would call someone gay as a way of insulting him?

COWELL: Not really, no. It's more a personal thing with Ryan, rather than saying all gay people are bad. You know, most of my friends in the world are gay, and they certainly wouldn't have taken offense at that.

PLAYBOY: Most of your friends are gay?

COWELL: I work in music and TV. [laughs] One or two gay people work in these businesses.

PLAYBOY: Did the producers tell you to knock off the gay jokes this past season?

COWELL: No. In the first season I made a similar remark, and Ryan came back with a comment along the lines of "Yes, and your favorite club is the Manhole." That's when someone from Fox stepped in and said, "Okay, guys, enough. Calm it down a bit."

PLAYBOY: When did you last see Paula Abdul?

COWELL: Oh gosh. Two months ago? She guested on The X Factor.

PLAYBOY: Were you surprised she agreed?

COWELL: A little bit, yeah.

PLAYBOY: When there is no business to conduct, do you speak to her?

COWELL: Not very often. I consider her a friend. I try to look out for her. She doesn't always think I do, but I do.

PLAYBOY: Why does she need looking after?

COWELL: Everyone needs looking after. I need looking after. Randy Jackson needs looking after. Ryan needs looking after.

PLAYBOY: That's a little bit of a dodge.

COWELL: Paula is a single girl, she's an emotional girl, and things get to be too much sometimes. You need someone you can talk to.

PLAYBOY: Well, she has said of you, "He's a pussycat. We are great friends."

COWELL: I think it depends on when you ask her that question. I think in good times I am the nicest person in the world. In bad times I am the devil.

PLAYBOY: For instance, you've said, "I actually can't stand her."

COWELL: At times I can't. You're asking me on a good day. Maybe in three weeks it will be a bad day.

PLAYBOY: It's a good day because you haven't seen her in two months.

COWELL: Maybe, yeah. [laughs] We have a very volatile relationship. I mean one minute we're like Siamese twins, and then we're Tom and Jerry.

PLAYBOY: Is it sexual chemistry?

COWELL: I don't think so, but maybe.

PLAYBOY: Are you attracted to her?

COWELL: Sometimes I am, yeah.

PLAYBOY: People say it's an act, you and Abdul.

COWELL: If you were observing us over a two-week period, you'd see it's certainly not an act. There's no premeditation in any part of this show.

PLAYBOY: One contestant, Corey Clark, claimed he had an affair with her. Do you think there's any validity to that?

COWELL: No, I'm 100 percent certain it's not true, because I would have known about it. You can't keep that kind of thing a secret.

PLAYBOY: Are you a little bit of a sadist?

COWELL: A little, yeah. I find other people's misfortunes amusing, for sure; I'm not going to lie. When people come on my show and are absolutely dreadful and think they're fantastic, there's something interesting about the whole process.

PLAYBOY: That's slightly cruel.

COWELL: It is, yes, I know. But it completely fascinates me. Strange people fascinate me.

PLAYBOY: Why did you walk off the show this past season?

COWELL: I walked off an episode, yeah. I'd had enough of Paula and Randy. I thought they were being obnoxious, trying to belittle me. I felt uncomfortable. It was like, "I don't need to listen to this. I'm bored of you two. If you guys have the answers, you judge the show without me." So I went home.

PLAYBOY: Was it a case of not liking a taste of your own medicine?

COWELL: No, if it had been more confrontational, I could have dealt with it. It was more like sniping.

PLAYBOY: Were they nicer the next day?

COWELL: I spoke to Randy that night, and it was fine. Randy and I are very good friends.

PLAYBOY: When you're taping, Seacrest, Jackson and you go out once a week.

COWELL: We've done that since we started. We enjoy one another's company. We'll go from a restaurant to a bar or club, whatever.

PLAYBOY: The kind of bar or club where women dance naked?

COWELL: [Laughs] We've done that once or twice.

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