Hamlet 2

The House Bunny

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Elegy

Bottle Shock

Pineapple Express

Step Brothers

Brideshead Revisited

Tropic Thunder

The Dark Knight

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Hancock

Drillbit Taylor hits theaters with impressive comedy credentials including Judd Apatow as producer, a script co-written by Seth Rogen, an appearance by resident Apatow comic fireball Leslie Mann and, in the star spot, Owen Wilson. So far, so good. But as the movie -- a teen flick about three high school dweebs who hire the eponymous cut-rate bodyguard (Wilson) to protect them from psychotic upperclassmen bullies -- staggers to its conclusion, it's obvious that all it really shares with such previous Apatow laugh riots as Superbad and Knocked Up is how it overstays its welcome by going on way, way too long. With its gutter ball language, teen bonding and obligatory gay-baiting, it's a Frankenstein monster of a flick, stitched together from worn-out spare parts and tired bits, badly in need of an electrical jolt, let alone a hipper sensibility, to shock it to life.

We all go to an Apatow comedy for huge, raunchy laughs, and we expect credibility to be stretched like bubblegum. But this time out, the yucks are too obviously jerry-rigged. The movie is set in a universe in which the principal is utterly clueless and high school teachers only hang out in the lounge, the better to justify head-scratching stuff like Wilson roaming in a suit posing as a teacher because no one's really sure who's on staff; similarly, another big section of the movie builds into a massive, out-of-control party absent of parents or even adult neighbors to curb the fun.

The three main kids (Nate Hartley, Troy Gentile, David Dorfman) do just fine, but they pale next to the comically immortal, likeable trio in Superbad. Mann, as a teacher developing a yen for Wilson, never gets to score fully because the script is so undercooked. The usually highly watchable Wilson has already perfected the sleepwalking, philosophy-spouting rogue in a handful of movies, especially You, Me & Dupree. His impact here is nil; his by-the-book performance dispiriting. Thirty-something years ago, My Bodyguard worked the same premise cleverly, touchingly and hilariously. Drillbit Taylor comes along many days later and many dollars shorter.

by Stephen Rebello

Photos: Suzanne Hanover/©2008 by Paramount Pictures. All rights reserved.