12.19.06 6:00 AM CST
• Politics
• Jamie Malanowski
Robert Gates, the new Defense Secretary, was sworn in today, which means we can at long last bring a close to Donald Rumsfeld’s long, vainglorious, self-indulgent farewell tour. Though more than a month has passed since the electorate effectively and the president officially dumped the architect of Iraqi tragedy, Rumsfeld has stayed on the job, mostly to play a series of farewell engagements at which he justifies his thuggish, ineffective tenure, and receives praise from cronies like Dick Cheney, who called Rummy the "greatest Secretary of Defense’" in history. Check the stent, Dick—I don’t think enough blood is reaching your brain. One of Rumsfeld’s final acts was to appear on the radio of Cal Thomas, the right wing Christian fundamentalist columnist. According to The Washington Post, Rumsfeld "told Thomas he hadn't given much thought about what he'd do after today's departure. Thomas invited him over to his home theater—complete with surround sound—to watch a movie.’’ Then his exchange occurred:
"I have not been in six years to the movies," Rumsfeld said.
"It'll be fun," Thomas said in the broadcast interview. "I got one for you that'd you'd really love. ... It's called 'Akeelah and the Bee.' Starbucks is involved in it. It's about a little African American girl, 11 years old, growing up in Crenshaw in L.A. Her father's been killed by some hoodie. Her brother's about to become a hoodie. And they discover that she has this great gift of spelling. ... I guarantee you I'll give you your money back if you don't love this movie. You will absolutely love this. It's got everything. There's not a white guy—the only white guy in it is the principal of the school. Everybody else is minority, everybody else gets along."
"Did you like The Sound of Music?" Rumsfeld asked.
"Of course I liked The Sound of Music," Thomas said.
"Well, so did I," Rumsfeld said. "People laugh at that."
"Well, I want to [tell] you something," Thomas said. "I stalked Julie Andrews for 40 years before I finally got her."
"Is that right?"
"On our shelf, a picture of us having tea together in New York," Thomas said."How long ago?" the defense secretary asked.
"Two years. But I . . ."
"She's showing her years," Rumsfeld observed.
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