12.21.06 6:00 AM CST
• After After Hours
• David Pfister
As annoying years go, 2006 was a fruitful one, with D.C., L.A., Madison Avenue and dark horse Kentwood, Louisiana accounting for much of the abundance.10. “Hi, I’m Mark Horowitz. For seven straight days I lived in this Nissan Sentra.” Would somebody please slash his tires, pour sugar in his tank, arrest him? Something. Anything.
9. Lame ducking. You’re out, Rummy. Pack up your desk. Go. Git. And leave the stapler.
8. Momma Spears’s Driving Academy. It’s a southern thing. You wouldn’t understand.
7. $3 a gallon/12 miles to the gallon. No, but seriously. Where else will I put my groceries?
6. Katie Couric’s foray into baking. Every day, ask yourself, “What would Cronkite do?”
5. “Ah, let’s make it an even nine trillion.” National debt limit? And all this time I thought it was like Amex, but with better terms.
4. Ken Lay’s bum ticker. Working all those long, stressful hours really pays off, just in unexpected ways.
3. The Passion of Mel Gibson. The redemption myth is alive and well.
2. Ann “Textbook Pathological Transference” Coulter. Hating yourself is one thing. Shanghaiing September 11th widows for your cruise to Psycho Island is, well, really fucked up.
1. Federline Records, Inc. He gangsta’, son. For realz.
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Add Philadelphia's John Street to the list.