09.17.07 5:00 AM CDT
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Sex
• Matt DeMazza
Our fall intern Nicole DeLuca has some dating advice for guys:
Oftentimes, what a man seems to be and what he actually is are quite different. Case in point: I had plans one night to meet a guy at a local mall. A few of my friends came along as a safety device, of course. He seemed interesting, so I decided to take everyone to my backyard instead of standing in the parking lot—I’m such the romantic. The chemistry between us was surprisingly strong, and even my friends were giving me the “good find” gesture.
Then things went awry.
We started talking about sex, a normal conversational topic among people my age. Normal stuff at first, but then this:
“I’ve done some bad things to girls, but I like to get them out now rather than later.” (There won’t be a “later,” buddy.) “I bent her over my pool table and broke a CD over her head,” talking about a girl he’d slept with. The smirk on his face made me cringe. Did he really think that his sex stories were going to make me wild and crazy for him?
He went on to say, “You know that girl I introduced you to in the parking lot?” Jumping off my top deck seemed like a good option at this point. “Well I had sex with her last night. That’s why she was following me. She wants me bad.”
A fake yawn came out of my mouth. “I’m really tired. It was nice talking to you, but I need to go to bed. Too much partying I guess.” A few forced laughs and smiles later and I finally had him walking to his car. He leaned up against the door, waiting for me to make the move to kiss him, because obviously he was irresistible to every woman. I gave him a pat on the back. “It was nice meeting you. I’ll talk to you soon.” Before he could spit out one word, I did a two-step and started to jog back to my house. I waved goodbye and slammed my front door: There is a god.
This story should illustrate the dos and don’ts of blind dating, or perhaps a lesson for all men to learn from. I’ll say it once and only once—the first time you meet a woman, and you want to get in her pants, DO NOT tell her that you slept with a ton of women, and/or slammed a CD over someone’s head during sex.
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Comments on this entry:
Yeah Nicole and I have had similar experiences recently and I took steps to make sure the dweeb learned a lesson; I'm a Russ Meyer inspired gal after all ;)
It sounds like she met what I call the recent sprouting phenomena known as "slacker nerds."
Firstly they look nothing like nerds but have the same zero social set of social skills. Unlike the original nerds they are not really that smart OR that nice and unlike traditional slackers they have little cultural literacy or artistic ability preferring to embrace the generic mainstays of pot and 'cool books and music' that have been played and read to death. When it comes to sexual prowess they are proud to be complete and utter guttural buffoons.
This new breed mocks the free spiritedness of retro hippie culture and today's hard working yuppie and slacks it's way through computer schooling demonstrating few real values or ethics. They primarily rent out in cheap areas such as Sacramento or The Mission in Frisco alongside the working class who entertain none of their parental kick backs and freebies. Think hipsters who dress like shit and can rarely get hot chicks.
This guy actually sounded attractive at first so I'm glad he didn't get Nicole!
Being as picky as possible is the only way to live.
I have mixed feelings towards the whole idea of "radical honesty" (think Dr. Brad Blanton). I've never been a fan of a [single] man exhibiting behavior that is pleasing, flattering, and accommodating to women for the sole and specific purpose of earning romantic companionship "brownie points" during the first and/or second date.
However, I'm also not a fan of such a blatant lack of tact conveniently disguised as upfront and straightforward honesty either. There is a happy medium.
Let's be real: All single, heterosexual males want to get laid. Regardless of whether his desires, interests, and intentions center on short-term objectives, long-term objectives, monogamous sex, casual/non-monogamous sex, conservative sex, or erotically uninhibited sex ... all men want sexual companionship.
The worst thing a man can do ... in my opinion ... is to pretend as though the only thing on his mind is entertaining, but "nothing beyond platonic" conversation with a woman of interest. That is so disingenuous.
The proverbial 'nice guy' prototype is slowly, but surely fading away. Too many manipulative head games by both genders are being exposed and identified. All that being said though, again, there is still a place for tactful expression by all men. Nothing like a man who speaks his mind and expresses his true thoughts in a manner that is smooth, eloquent, and magnetizing.