One of the great delights I have as a Prius owner is driving in parking lots. Since I’m moving at a low speed, the silent electric motor kicks in, allowing me to sneak up on all sorts of thoughtless clods who wander down the center aisle on foot, oblivious to the fact that they’re snarling traffic and putting themselves at risk. With the Prius, I can pull up within a foot or two of them before they notice, only to watch them jump out their skins when they suddenly realize a moving car is inches away.
Now someone wants to ruin all this. The National Federation of the Blind have complained that super quiet Toyota hybrids put the blind at risk since they pretty much need to hear a car in order to avoid it. They want all Priuses to make noise when they’re moving. Of course, there have been no reports of any blind people injured by this new deadly menace, but that never stops the government and various activist groups from insisting it’s a real problem that must be solved.
Mickey Kaus, writing for Slate, has already moved ahead to the next step in this battle. He’s wondering what type of sound the government will require Priuses to make. Thankfully, he has some suggestions, including Brian Eno, a whale-call tone, and wind chimes on the antenna.
Personally, I’d go with a constant recording of “I Need to Wake Up,” Melissa Etheridge’s Oscar-winning song from An Inconvenient Truth. If the blind are going to take away my parking lot fun, they might as well be annoyed.
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How about the sound of an orgasm?