Our crack intern Seth Fiegerman has come to the conclusion that television without writers is pretty stupid.
The strike has pretty much obliterated TV. Shows I would normally watch only during commercial breaks (and then only to mock them) have now become the sole sustenance for my sad TV life. Tila Tequila is no substitute for Jon Stewart.
There are rumors now saying the effect of this strike will be brutal. “If this strike lasts longer than three months, an entire season of television will end this December. No dramas. No comedies. No Daily Show,” said Lost co-creator and head-writer Damon Lindelof in an interview with The New York Times. “The strike will also prevent any pilots from being shot in the spring, so even if the strike is settled by then, you won’t see any new shows until the following January.” So unfortunately, we all must learn to cope with the strike in any way we can.
In my opinion, there is a slight silver lining to this. If the strike continues, we’ll have time to catch up some of the great shows we’ve fallen behind. For me, there is also the bonus that I no longer feel incredibly lame for watching reruns of Walker: Texas Ranger, or staking out the same few Seinfeld episodes again and again (you know like the one where George runs over the squirrel and, bemoaning their failed “pact,” coughs up the cash for the squirrel’s operation).
Beyond these, there is a great potential which shouldn’t be overlooked. Networks are desperate for shows. Meanwhile, each of us has more dead time without our favorite talk shows. The punch line: this is a chance for anyone and everyone to come up with new reality TV shows and pitch them! One glance at some of the new shows the major networks are running will prove my point. CBS, for example, is presenting Do You Trust Me? This new show has “strangers team up for money, wagering on how much each can depend on the other.” The show may be hosted by “bow-tie-sporting pundit Tucker Carlson.” The plan is for him to “reveal secrets from each contestant's past, influencing how much trust their teammate may have.” It’s time to take matters into our own hands.
My friends and I got together a few nights ago, had a few drinks and brainstormed. I’ll only list three (semi-coherent) ideas here to inspire you loyal readers to pitch some of your own.
-American Gladiators (featuring Presidential Candidates): What could be more entertaining and relevant in this election season than combining the glory of the American Gladiator series (where contestants engage in physical competitions) with our current field of candidates. We’ve seen the debates, now let’s see the action! My money’s on McCain.
-Rob Schneider in Iraq: This show will borrow the premise from Punk’d. Schneider, the comedian, is duped into believing the CIA desperately needs his character acting “skills” to go undercover in Iraq. Hilarity ensues.
-Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell are forced to live together for a year. That’s it.
If this fails, there is always the return of Battlestar Galactica in January to help us all cope for a little while longer.
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Comments on this entry:
Battlestar returns in April with a season of ten episodes.
I enjoyed the first (but not the second) Deuce Bigalow too much to be willing to sacrifice Rob Schneider to your Iraq idea. Sorry.
However, your Trump-O'Donnell idea has at least one of the aesthetic virtues of a cockfight: I don't have much emotional stake in either combatant.
So Trump-O'Donnell could be a winner.