Some publications make sports predictions and are never held accountable for the money you lost putting your house up for the Texans to win the Super Bowl. While we didn’t pick the Texans—nor would we give you money to buy your house back, even in this market—we’ll admit where we misread our NFL tarot cards.

Our picks published in the October issue were made behind closed doors by a committee of Playboy staffers and NFL insiders. Of the men who sat in that smoky room and argued the upside of a Michael Vick-less Falcons versus the ability of the small-handed Alex Smith to lead the 49ers to the top of the NFC West, Jamie Malanowski, Matt DeMazza and Rocky Rakovic are brave enough to discuss the magazine’s and their preseason predictions:

Playboy’s Picks:
Super Bowl: Patriots over Saints
The Pats look solid and though the Saints could use some help, they are poised to make a run.

AFC
East: Patriots
Obvious gold even before the preseason started.
North: Ravens
Chose the second worst team in the toughest division.
South: Colts
Another no-brainer.    
West: Chargers
Still a solid choice. A Herm Edwards team (Chiefs) will bust.
Wild Card: Bengals
Yikes. Chose the worst team in the toughest division. The Bengals always have so much fantasy talent (Palmer, Ocho Cinco, Housh, Rudi) that it seems like they should contend.
Wild Card: Broncos
Injuries and a surprisingly tough schedule have torpedoed this pick.

NFC
East: Eagles
It was a crapshoot among all four and we rolled a seven.
North: Bears
Not sure who is more embarrassed about this: us or Griese.
NFC South: Saints
Making their run. Better than the Panthers and Bucs
NFC West: 49ers
We thought the Seahawks would be mediocre, and they are! But the Niners didn’t gain any ground.
Wild Card: Rams
Not sure who is more embarrassed: us or Bulger.
Wild Card: Cowboys
Comfortable with this.

Malanowski’s War Room Sheet

Super Bowl: Patriots over Saints

AFC
East: Patriots
North: Ravens
South: Titans
West: Broncos
Wild Cards: Bengals and Jets

NFC
East: Cowboys
North: Lions
South: Saints
West: 49ers
Wild Cards: Rams and Eagles

First, let me just say, in my defense, that none of my picks have been mathematically eliminated—yet. Second, the power of prayer is a miraculous thing, and the Lord has been known to work in mysterious ways. Third, flying is not as safe as it used to be, and with all this traveling the teams do, I wouldn’t count on anything.

That said, I would say my Ravens, Broncos, Bengals, Jets, 49ers and Rams picks are not the ones I want spotlighted when my candidacy is considered by the Selection Committee of the Prognosticators Hall of Fame. Let’s just say that Ray Lewis, Jay Cutler, Carson Palmer, Chad Johnson, Eric Mangini, Frank Gore, Marc Bulger and Stephen Jackson seduced me. Yes, that’s just the kind of sucker I am.

On the other hand, my Patriots and Cowboys picks look good. I think the Saints and Titans will work out. I’m very pleased that I supported the Lions. I’m very glad that I didn’t pick the Bears, but I’m mystified that I didn’t pick Indy, and I’m ashamed that I didn’t select my Giants (although lets face it—they’ve set us up for a glorious 8-8 season.)

On the whole, let me just say on the basis of this evidence, no one should ever listen to me, because I am incompetent.

DeMazza’s War Room Sheet

Super Bowl: Patriots over Panthers

AFC
East: Patriots
North: Ravens
South: Colts
West: Chargers
Wild Cards: Steelers and Titans

NFC
East: Cowboys
North: Bears
South: Panthers
West: Seahawks
Wild Cards: Saints, Eagles
 
First off, it should be mentioned that I’m a Steelers fan, and when I picked the Steelers as a Wild Card, you guys all snickered at me. Turns out you had every right to snicker—because they’re not going to be a wild card, they’re going to be a division-winner. So there. Which brings me to one of my worst picks:

The Ravens. Jeez, what a disaster. I honestly thought that coming off last year’s surprising 13-3 season and the acquisition of Willis McGahee, they’d challenge the Patriots and Chargers as the class of the AFC. (Yes, I thought both those teams would be a notch above the Colts—yet another great pick of mine.) But I also think my Titans wild-card pick was a good one; they’re now 6-2. I’ve always thought Jeff Fisher is a good coach, and Vince Young is just a winner.

Why did I pick the Panthers in the NFC? Well, because the NFC basically sucks, and I figured, why not them? I guess I could still be right, but they’re really not looking good. The Saints have rebounded nicely after a 0-4 start and are playing as well as anyone right now. And while I did pick the Bears in the North, I can defend myself by saying that the only reason I did was because I figured someone had to win that lousy division. The Packers and Lions have played much better than most people thought they would. Good for them.


Rakovic’s War Room Sheet

Super Bowl: Patriots over Saints

AFC
East: Patriots
North: Ravens
South: Colts
West: Broncos
Wild Cards: Jets and Chargers

NFC
East: Cowboys
North: Bears
South: Saints
West: Seahawks
Wild Cards: Panthers and Lions

Does any AFC team—aside from the greatest gridiron squad ever assembled, which resides in Massachusetts—even matter? Kind of. The Jets do. Take away our cameras, Mangina, and we will show you that without the "help" we can blow other teams out! ... "But Rocky, why did the Pats knee the ball against the Colts?” Well Bucky, that was to keep Vegas on their toes.

As far as the rest of the chaff in the AFC:

North—I didn’t think that a first-year coach would be able to lead the Steel and I’m not shocked but surprised that Derek Anderson had the opportunity to get the job done in Cleveland. South—“D-Fence” you asked and now you have received Mr. Manning. West—The Chefs? Not going to happen. Wild Cards—The Jets finally have a quarterback who can throw an out pass, now they only need about 10 more players. The only reason I didn’t pick the Chargers to win the division is, again, because of their first-year coach, but with the Broncs dead in the water I’d bump the Bolts up.

NFC: Yep, it seems like all three of us Cowboyed up, but somehow, some voice had us take the Eagles. Central—Like DeMazza I thought the Bears would win by default, now I can’t figure if the Packers or the Lions are this year’s “team of destiny.” South—Despite their record the Saints are one of the top four teams in the conference. West—Though Alexander is showing his true colors, the Seabags coast on in, as I thought (it pained me to make this pick). Wild Cards—Did I really not pick an NFC East team here? Yep, the Skins are flimsy and the Giants are the Giants; the Panthers look better than I would have thought and the Lions—to quote Dennis Green—are who I thought they were.