11.16.07 5:05 AM CST
• After After Hours
• Jamie Malanowski
It’s raining in New York today which means the sidewalks on Fifth Avenue outside the Playboy offices, already thick with slow-moving, cel phone-jabbering, picture-snapping tourists, are now becoming entirely impassable because the slow-moving, cel phone-jabbering, picture-snapping tourists have all opened up huge enormous golf umbrellas. This is a loathsome trend. First came enormous SUVs clogging the roads, then ginormous baby strollers packing the sidewalks, and now these huge umbrellas jostling with other umbrellas and encroaching on other people’s personal airspace. What ever happened to Totes—the nice, foldable personal umbrella, which, granted, wasn’t all that effective at keeping a person dry, but which had the good sense to keep to itself? Why does everyone feel the need to lug around something that’s like a carport on a stick? What’s wrong with getting a little wet? When did everybody get made of sugar?
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