12.10.07 5:00 AM CST
• The Advisor
• The Playboy Advisor
As part of a continuing discussion in September and October of men who don’t want sex as often as their girlfriends or wives do, we asked a few of these men to explain themselves. As we note in the January issue, we received a number of passionate responses. We’ll share a few today, a few more tomorrow and then conclude with a third and final installment. Then we’re moving on with our lives:
To start things off, C.H. from Canyon Country, California writes, “I would never have believed a man could want less sex than his partner if I didn’t have a friend who complains about his horny girlfriend. I’m single so find this difficult to comprehend. Any hot woman who wants sex from me gets an ‘Okay.’ ” (Note to C.H.: Even after you’ve fucked her 5,000 times?)
“After a hard day of work as an auto technician, all I want is a couple of beers, a hot meal, a shower and a seat on my couch,” says P.F. of Norwalk, Connecticut. “Until recently I dated a women who couldn’t get enough. We are both in our mid-40s, and I’m young at heart, but every night? I couldn’t do it.”
D.K. of Rockaway, New Jersey, add this: “A woman taking the initiative can be appealing. But a woman who is ravenous 24/7 is exhausting. The fact is, sex takes a lot more out of men than it does out of women. Why do you think we quickly fall asleep?” (Note to D.K.: Damn right! We don’t get enough credit.)
P.K. of Petosky, Michigan: “I’m normally pretty sexually spunky, especially for my 45 years, and have never had difficulty in maintaining an almost constant arousal for any woman I’m with. However, when other serious roommate or relationship issues surface and go unaddressed and/or unresolved, it takes an enormous toll on my sex. How can I get it up for her when I’m angry at, disinterested in, or disgusted with her in other ways? A lack of libido usually means that something else is seriously awry.”
“Since the beginning of my 12-year marriage I have almost always been the one to say, ‘Not tonight, dear. I have a headache,’ “ says D.G. of Monroe, Washington. “For several years that was literally true; I suffered from migraines brought on by my inability to release my job stress in a healthy manner. Most men don’t realize just how stressed they are—having six-pack abs doesn’t matter if you’re a ball of tension. I had to relinquish the expectation of sex every night in favor of a good night’s sleep; it makes me a more pleasant person to be with.
C.A. of Houston: “Last summer I married my girlfriend of six years. At one point, we had sex every day. But after years together, sex with the same person, no matter how much you love them, gets repetitive. Now I find myself enjoying quality over quantity. It’s not because I’m tired; she is usually asleep before I am. This is the first time we have lived under the same roof without parents or roommates. Since we moved in together, she has become much more vocal and proactive in bed. When I asked her about the change, she said that now she doesn’t have to worry about other people in the apartment.”
“After a hard day of work as an auto technician, all I want is a couple of beers, a hot meal, a shower and a seat on my couch,” says P.F. of Norwalk, Connecticut. “Until recently I dated a women who couldn’t get enough. We are both in our mid-40s, and I’m young at heart, but every night? I couldn’t do it.”
D.K. of Rockaway, New Jersey, add this: “A woman taking the initiative can be appealing. But a woman who is ravenous 24/7 is exhausting. The fact is, sex takes a lot more out of men than it does out of women. Why do you think we quickly fall asleep?” (Note to D.K.: Damn right! We don’t get enough credit.)
P.K. of Petosky, Michigan: “I’m normally pretty sexually spunky, especially for my 45 years, and have never had difficulty in maintaining an almost constant arousal for any woman I’m with. However, when other serious roommate or relationship issues surface and go unaddressed and/or unresolved, it takes an enormous toll on my sex. How can I get it up for her when I’m angry at, disinterested in, or disgusted with her in other ways? A lack of libido usually means that something else is seriously awry.”
“Since the beginning of my 12-year marriage I have almost always been the one to say, ‘Not tonight, dear. I have a headache,’ “ says D.G. of Monroe, Washington. “For several years that was literally true; I suffered from migraines brought on by my inability to release my job stress in a healthy manner. Most men don’t realize just how stressed they are—having six-pack abs doesn’t matter if you’re a ball of tension. I had to relinquish the expectation of sex every night in favor of a good night’s sleep; it makes me a more pleasant person to be with.
C.A. of Houston: “Last summer I married my girlfriend of six years. At one point, we had sex every day. But after years together, sex with the same person, no matter how much you love them, gets repetitive. Now I find myself enjoying quality over quantity. It’s not because I’m tired; she is usually asleep before I am. This is the first time we have lived under the same roof without parents or roommates. Since we moved in together, she has become much more vocal and proactive in bed. When I asked her about the change, she said that now she doesn’t have to worry about other people in the apartment.”
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Comments on this entry:
All these men should be turned into Soylent Green and never heard from again.
When we first got married my wife was sexy as hell. She was a size 7, thick with nice thighs and a round ass. I couldn't get enough of her. I had to fight other guys because they wouldn't leave her alone after she said she wasn't interested. We dated in high school and got married. Five months later she got pregnant and eventually weighed in at 230 lbs. That's right, she gained 100 lbs. from the day we got married to the day she gave birth to my son, all in a span of 14 months. It's hard to be turned on by your wife when she weighs more than you do. It's been several years and she is still overweight.
Same as DJ. My wife had great tits when we married and lost them. Oddly, the fatter she got, the smaller her tits got. She also lost her ass while gaining an keg-gut as I call it. Instinctually, no man is attracted to that. It's like asking women to pick the short, fat, bald guy over the hunky stud... ain't gonna happen on this planet unless short-n-fat has a million or more in his checking account.
For more than ten years, the only erections I get are from internet porn. And at age 46, I don't want to fuck a real woman — they're all gross and old. Sue me. It's safe sex and at least I'm not out cheating with some ho.