Yesterday we shared a few of the many letters we received from men who don’t want sex as much as their wives or girlfriends. Here is the second installment:
“For most men older than 30, we have a been-there, done-that mentality,”
writes R.G., of Clifton, New Jersey. “We like sex fine, but if there is even a hint of bullshit involved, we’ll cuddle the remote. Our women never realize that emasculation, nagging and manipulation dampen our sex lives more quickly then them gaining a few pounds or not dressing as hot as they used to. That’s the truth as I see it at 45.”
R.W. of San Diego has had enough: “Your husband doesn’t want sex? Stop
watching Dr. Phil, reading all that crap that claims men are emasculated,
get off the Internet and stop trying to control us. Talk to us without
psychoanalyzing and you will be amazed at how interested we are.”
J.H. of Chambersburg, Pennsylvania writes, “As a young, married man who
already has a diminished sex drive, 'fuck me now’ and 'I’m horny’ aren’t the
most becoming poetry to get one in the mood. If male and female roles are
reversing, maybe men need some wooing as well. Women need to learn some
lessons about seduction.”
“Some people just aren’t sexually compatible,” says P.S. of Glendale,
California. “I don’t think there are very many men who would be too tired to
have sex with, say, the Playmate of the Year, even after they have run a
marathon and slayed a dragon. If she talks endlessly about how she’s not
appreciated by and doesn’t get along with the other Playmates, it might be a
different story.”
A.D. of Philadelphia adds this: “My friends and I are all reaching the age
where we are settling down for our first marriage, and we as young men
actually do have serious contemplations and discussions about the notion
that we will never again experience a new sexual relationship. If a woman
walks in on this kind of discussion, the conversation immediately goes right
back to sports.”
“In my case and likely in others the answer is so obvious it hurts,” says
J.L. of Billings, Montana. “When I met my wife years ago she was a sexy,
horny woman who’d do anything for me and I for her. But gaining five pounds
a year for 10 years is going to affect a man’s desire for you. I still love
and desire her but we humans are visual creatures and I cannot directly
affect my own instinctual lust for a firm body. The same goes for men, of
course, who let themselves go. If your belly button sticks out farther than
your cock, don’t be surprised if your woman gets lots of headaches. More of
us are overweight than ever and there are myriad consequences.”
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Comments on this entry:
I guess this got off topic, not to criticize the advisor but this went from "what is up (or not up) with men who have low sex drives" to "she gained weight and I'm not into her" and "we got married and the sex fizzled." The Advisory needs to understand that there are drop dead gorgeous traditional loving, nurturing women-women who cook, who don't emasculate and who rock and who are in relationships where all is well BUT the guy just does not fuck/make love to her enough pure and simple. Janet Jackson actually complained about that in an interview once so it strikes even the uber-sexiest. Men with low drives may want the trophy of a very hot horny woman to compensate for what they lack and results are usually disastrous.
Sex is important and women need a lot of it.
Some men out there just have low sex drives and women take it personally and stay with them to see if the can remedy it. My advice to these women is RUN, JUMP find Tommy Lee, find anyone healthy and horny because guy under 40 with a low sex drive is not a project you want.
To the men with this issue you need to realize that your woman is frustrated and masturbating more than she'd like to or should and that you don't deserve what so many other men have earned. A beautiful, smart, traditionally loving woman is a gem and in order to honor that gem you have to be making love to her with alacrity all the time so if she's unhappy with you sexually let her go and she'll eventually be much happier.
Some men just can't deal with real intimacy or as selfish and turn to masturbating to porn despite the woman being attractive, etc.