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Lap-Dance Larceny: A True Story from the Strip Club

Lap-Dance Larceny: A True Story from the Strip Club

Welcome to The Tasteful Nude, in which stripper, comedian and writer Kasey Koop gives us a point-blank look at life onstage and backstage in L.A.’s strip club scene. Check back every Thursday afternoon for more. For lap dances, I’ve been paid in bills both large and small, and I’ve even taken payments via Venmo. Any method is better than being shorted. When you steal from a stripper, you’re shoplifting my time and body—and considering how much I invest in my appearance, that’s grand larceny. Managers lecture us about collecting pay beforehand, but pausing for twenties between each dance spoils the mood you’ve twerked hard to create and hinders the sale of more. Because of this, I take my chances by asking for the total sum at the end. My customers are trustworthy 99 percent of the time. But that other one percent rears its ugly head from time to time. My initial contact with a man I’ll call Paul was sidestage, looking up at me from where he was seated. His face was bright…

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