Whenever someone has a mustache on TV or in the movies, that character is either a badass who doesn’t take gruff from anyone or he’s the villain. In fact, I assume every person with a mustache is secretly plotting world domination in real life. To celebrate Movember, we’ve compiled the best mustaches in pop culture history.
May not be the thickest facial hair on this list, but he shaves with a knife he also uses to scalp Nazis. How many other mustaches can claim to be grown in the blood of genocidal maniacs?
24. Yosemite Sam Loony Tunes
Yosemite Sam may constantly fail trying to kill Bugs Bunny, but you still wouldn’t mess with him. He carries two revolvers around and is prone to shooting them off randomly throughout the day. He would be higher, but his disappointing performance versus the Monstars in Space Jam drops him a few spots.
23. Pedro De Pacas
Cheech Marin, Up in Smoke
This may be the only mustache in history you could shave, roll into a joint, then smoke and actually get high.
22. Herbert ‘Hi’ McDunnough
Nicolas Cage, Raising Arizona
It’s rare for a mustache to both capture the wackiness of a character and the insanity of the actor portraying that character. This one does.
21. President Skroob
Mel Brooks, Spaceballs
President Skroob may have been an idiot, but his facial hair game is on point. He must’ve used all the air on Planet Spaceball to make sure his mustache could properly breath.
20. Don Corleone
Marlon Brando, The Godfather
Here’s one mustache you can’t refuse to put on your list.
19. Paul Kersey
Charles Bronson, Death Wish
Without a mustache, Charles Bronson looks like a boring architect.
With a mustache, he’s an ass-kicking vigilante.
That’s the power of facial hair.
18. Derek Smalls
Harry Shearer, This Is Spinal Tap
Take every piece of facial hair worn by a member of a 1970s English metal band and crank it up to eleven and you get Derek Smalls’ mustache.
17. Lando Calrissian
Billy Dee Williams, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
The only black guy in the original Star Wars trilogy is also the only person with a mustache. Even Chewbacca was jealous of his facial hair.
16. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein
Gene Wilder, Young Frankenstein
There are many brilliant things about Dr. Frankenstein, and his grooming habits are definitely near the top. Too bad they couldn’t figure out a way to transfer the ‘stache over to the monster.
15. Ned Flanders
Harry Shearer, The Simpsons
The boring, God-loving neighbor of the Simpsons doesn’t have an interesting bone in his body, because all his coolness was absorbed into his mustache.
14. The Tramp
Charlie Chaplin, The Kid
On a list of the worst things Hitler ever did, bogarting Chaplin’s iconic facial hair from The Kid definitely should be on there. Not number one, obviously, but definitely in the top 7.
13. Rufus T. Firefly
Groucho Marx, Duck Soup
People who don’t even know who Grouch Marx is or have ever seen Duck Soup will still recognize this mustache from the millions of fake glasses that replicate it. Maybe the only mustache on the list that is actually more famous than the guy who wore it.
We never said the mustaches couldn’t be made out of shoe polish.
12. Jacques Clouseau
Peter Sellers, The Pink Panther
If Inspector Clouseau spent as much time learning investigative skills as he did perfecting his mustache, he’d probably be Batman.
11. Roger Murtaugh
Danny Glover, Lethal Weapon
When he says, “I’m getting too old for this shit,” I assume he’s referring to the several hours he spends each day maintaining his lethal mustache. Mel Gibson grew one of the best mullets ever, and still it’s not a contest which partner you’d rather dress as in a Partners Costume Contest.
10. The Sundance Kid
Robert Redford, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Paul Newman created salad dressing. Robert Redford grew this mustache. You decide which is the greater legacy.
9. Ron Swanson
Nick Offerman, Parks and Recreation
He’s a libertarian. He creates his own furniture made out of wood. He can eat more steak than any man to ever live. He has this mustache. Even in your dreams you can’t be as cool as Ron Swanson.
Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat
I assume the only reason anyone even agreed to be interviewed by Borat is because they wanted to study his mustache at greater length. This mustache made more Americans look stupid than The Family Feud.
7. Thomas Sullivan Magnum
Tom Selleck, Magnum, P.I.
Do I really have to justify this pick?
6. Bo Darville
Burt Reynolds, Smokey and the Bandit
This is the movie every male porn actor saw and said, “Now that’s what I’m missing!”
5. Jules Winnfield
Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction
Fact: Pulp Fiction is awesome.
Fact: Jules is the most awesome character in Pulp Fiction.
Fact: He has an awesome mustache.
No way he wasn’t making this list.
4. Ron Burgundy
Will Ferrell, Anchorman
This mustache will make you want to have afternoon delight all night long.
3. The Stranger
Sam Elliott, The Big Lebowski
Does The Stranger play a big role in The Big Lebowski? No. Does he have an incredible mustache? Hell yeah! Also, without him, how would we know the Dude abides?
2. Wyatt Earp
Kurt Russell, Tombstone
Tombstone’s one of the most underrated Westerns of all-time. So it’s no wonder Kurt Russell’s awesome 1800s ‘stache doesn’t get the recognition it deserves. It’s Kurt Russell with a mustache! It’s almost too much badassery for a person to handle.
1. Bill “The Butcher” Cutting
Daniel Day-Lewis, Gangs of New York
Things you need to know about Bill “The Butcher” Cutting: He throws knives as a hobby, he runs New York City and he killed Liam Neeson. Throw in this incredible mustache, and this is one guy you do not want to fuck with.