A collection of the most awesomely bad NFL T-shirts that football fans can get.
Aside from a select few, most officially licensed NFL T-shirts suck. The No Fun League creates a motif and then applies it across the board to all of the 32 teams, ignoring the individual character of the Raiders, say, or the Packers. Fortunately, platforms like Etsy and CafePress allow fans to create their own illicit designs for their favorite teams, players, or even referees. the results are not always stellar but the unintentional comedy of it all makes it worthwhile. We found 11 bootleg NFL T-shirts that are so bad they’re awesome.
1. DALLAS COWBOYS: WE DEM BOYZ $12, etsy.com
If you’re going to appropriate a rap lyric for your favorite football team, try to make sure it’s not from a rapper who recorded a song in tribute to a rival team, as Wiz Khalifa did with his Pittsburgh Steelers’ ode “Black And Yellow.”
2. WHAT WOULD ED HOCHULI DO? $19.99, cafepress.com
We’re not sure who is such a fan of NFL referee Ed Hochuli that they would want to wear a T-shirt with his name on it. Besides, the answer to this question, in every situation, is obvious: flex his biceps.
3. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS: FORTY NINERS $17.99, etsy.com
You just know that whoever wears this shirt has never touched his lips to a forty-ounce bottle of malt liquor or laid eyes on a 9-millimeter pistol in real life.
4. GREEN BAY PACKERS: THAT’S WHAT CHEESEHEAD $14.95, etsy.com
If you ever describe a Packers’ fan as “pudgy, smells like cheese, and filled with sausage,” be fully prepared for someone nearby to shout out “That’s what Cheesehead!”
5. CHICAGO BEARS: CUTLER MAKES ME DRINK $19.95, etsy.com
We can only imagine the amount of booze consumed after Jake Cutler threw a late pick against the Packers in Chicago’s season-opening loss. You’d think that after seeing Cutler do it so many times that Bears fans would be used to it by now.
6. DENVER BRONCOS: OMAHA OMAHA $15, etsy.com
Perhaps the only thing more annoying than seeing Peyton Manning in 1,427 commercials every NFL Sunday is listening to him shout “Omaha, Omaha” at the line of scrimmage. But apparently there are some Broncos fans who love Manning’s offsides-inducing hard count so much they want to wear it on their bodies.
7. NEW YORK JETS: JUST ENDURING THE SEASON $24, cafepress.com
A Week 1 victory over Johnny Football’s Browns may have instilled renewed hope in Jets fans. But don’t worry, by Week 5 the standard-issue malaise should be back in full effect.
8. WASHINGTON REDSKINS: DALLAS SUCKS $19.99, cafepress.com
As if the Redskins name wasn’t offensive enough, now someone has made a shirt showing the Native American mascot getting a BJ from a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. But while the graphic may be tacky, the sentiment is true. Dallas does, in fact, suck.
9. GOODELL SUCKS $19.99, cafepress.com
While aimed primarily at Patriots fans, you can cheer for any NFL team and appreciate the message on this T-shirt. It isn’t easy to be a less-liked major sports commissioner than Bud Selig, but Goodell has pulled it off.
10. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: I’M HERE SO I WON’T GET FINED $18.95, etsy.com
Marshawn Lynch is really the gift that keeps on giving, whether it’s quotes like this one from his appearance at Super Bowl Media Day or selling his beloved Skittles on a home shopping network. We challenge you to wear this shirt to your next office meeting and point to it whenever your boss asks you a question.
11. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS: DEFLATE THESE $19, etsy.com
Everyone who is not a New England Patriots fan is pretty much in agreement that the team cheats, right? Well, the salt in the wound is the way that Patriots Nation gloats about its success gained from said cheating. Case in point: This shirt.