It’s the middle of March, which means millions of college kids are flocking to warm weather to celebrate Spring Break. This also means students are halting their studies to focus their energy on something far more important: Beer Bongs. Here are some of the craziest and most creative beer bongs ever made, starting with the Gas Mask Bong.
The Skull Bong
If there’s one thing traditional beer bongs are missing it’s a reminder about our mortality. That problem’s fixed with the Skull Bong. Just imagine you’re a Roman warrior celebrating a victory on the battlefield. It’s available for purchase on Amazon, and while you may not be able to get it time for your Spring Break trip, you can hold onto it until Halloween.
Pink Flamingo Beer Bong
Why do so many people put flamingos in their lawn? Because they’re awesome, that’s why! So of course someone decided to create a beer bong shaped like one of these exotic birds. It’s also a good icebreaker in case you meet any cute animal lovers at a party.
The Hulk Hogan Bong
If you’re a fan of wrestling or brightly colored tank tops and bandanas, the Hulk Hogan Bong will help you recreate the look of the iconic WWE star. Just make sure you’ve had plenty of brew before you have a buddy hit you with a folding chair.
The 50-Person Beer Bong
Everyone at a party is going to want a chance with the beer bong. But most of them can only be used by one person at a time. What do you do? How about you right it up so 50 people can use it at once? Yes, those are water jugs on top. This is not recommended for lightweights.
The Medusa Bong
Did you look at the previous bong and think, “That’s a little too organized?” Well then the Medusa Bong is for you. Put the beer in and let chaos takeover. Just keep your friend studying greek mythology away or he’ll lecture you on the bong’s historical accuracy.
The Santa Bong
When Spring Break’s over, there’s no way you’re going to still be on Santa’s Nice List. So you might as well give the jolly fat man the biggest “F You” imaginable and turn his image into the ultimate tool for drunken debauchery.
The Balcony Bong
According to Isaac Newton, all objects fall with the same acceleration due to gravity. And there’s no better way to harness this universal force than an 18-foot tube designed to deliver beer to people on the ground. Supposedly this is the only way Neil DeGrasse Tyson ever drinks his beer.
The Mannequin Bong
Let’s face it: Not every guy’s getting laid this Spring Break. For those unlucky dudes, a mannequin bong may be the closest they get to an attractive woman their entire trip. And the more you drink, the more realistic the doll becomes.
If you’re going to add “zilla” onto the end of something, it better be epic. And this certainly qualifies. It’s six-feet tall with six funnels for alcohol delivery and can hold 12 beers at once. Can be used for large parties, casual get togethers or if you’re just lonely and want to forget about the fact that you have no friends.
The Boob Tube
There’s going to be plenty of breasts on Spring Break. But none of those will be able to deliver alcohol. But with the Boob Tube guys can get drunk and pretend they’re hooking up with a woman. It’s really a win-win.
The Dong Bong
Similar to the “Boob Tube,” but this one’s shaped like a…well…it’s in the name. The Dong Bong will cause a laugh any time someone puts this up to their mouth to quench their thirst. So if you’re immature (and if you’re going on Spring Break you probably are), this is definitely for you.
What’s so special about The Knockout? It’s a beer and weed bong combined into one. Just tip it upside down and light the end and you’ll be able to consume them both together. It’s actually pretty amazing no one’s thought this up until now.
Beer Bottle Holster
Not technically a beer bong, but still an effective alcohol delivery device. Grab a couple of bottles and some shot glasses and you won’t have to worry about refilling for awhile. If you’re planning to hit any cattle trails in the near future, you’d be wise to purchase one of these.