No one likes fjords. It’s like, be a bay or be the ocean, but don’t try to have it both ways, you stupid idiots.
They’re also impractical. You’re sailing, you enter a fjord, then what? Land. Dead end. Waste of time and food. If you’re the captain, you’re now one day closer to mutiny. Great job, fjord.
We can all agree that fjords are awful. These are the most awful fjords in the world.
Ooh, we visited Laksefjorden this summer, and it was so special because it’s sparely inhabited, just look at my precious Facebook photos of a bunch of water and some rocks. So fjord-y. Shut up.
Kenai Fjords, Alaska
A failure from start to finish — the Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip of fjords.
Sandefjordsfjord Fjord, Norway
Apparently named by the Swedish Chef. A totally stupid fjord.
College Fjord, Alaska
Epicenter of the largest earthquake in American history. Go to hell and die, College Fjord.
Puget Sound, Washington
Tries to hide that it’s a series of fjords by calling itself a sound. But the only “sound” coming from Puget Sound is the disgraceful sound of shameful lies.
Isortog Fjord, Greenland
Misty Fjords, Alaska
Beneath these pristine waters lurks an oversized inlet of suck.
Kangaamiut Kangerluarsuat Fjord, Greenland
You need a chainsaw just to pronounce it. What a stupid fjord.
Ilulissat Icefjord, Greenland
Finally, a reason to root for global warming.
Doubtful Sound, New Zealand
Site where Peter Jackson filmed the famous “Fjords Are the Rancid Gates to Hell” scene in Lord of the Rings.
Nassau Fjord, Alaska
Makes Arasvikfjord look like Gunneklevfjord. (Ha. You thought I was going to go Kornstadfjord there, but I zagged.)
Perlerfiup Kangerlua, Greenland
When the meteor that ends all life on this planet smashes into earth at a million miles per hour, I pray to a just God that it annihilates Perlerfiup Kangerlua first.
A fjord so awful it is said that Viking warriors gouged out their eyes with spears rather than gaze upon it.