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How to Turn Your Lifetime of F**k-Ups Into a Resume to Kill For

How to Turn Your Lifetime of F**k-Ups Into a Resume to Kill For

So, you’re looking for a new job. You’ve found the perfect one to apply for (Abandoned Warehouse Manager), you’re ready for the interview (someone’s got fresh, argyle socks!), but there’s still something gnawing at you: You never exacted revenge on your father’s killer. That and your resume. You want it to reflect your vast and unique life experiences but you’ve made your fair share of mistakes. That’s okay-who among us hasn’t set fire to a Forever 21 during a bath salt trip gone sour or stolen Kevin Bacon’s identity in order to avenge their father’s death? Here’s a quick and easy guide to flipping the script and turning your lowest qualities into highly-valued assets: Bonehead Mistakes and Personal Insufficiencies Areas of Expertise and Winning Qualifications Constantly bumming cigarettes from strangers Great at cold-calling Helped rob a series of banks during Spring of 2014 Team player Lived inside a well outside Old Man Banyon’s farm for five years Extremely…

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