Q 13

PLAYBOY: You once wanted to make a feature film about the life of Frank Sinatra, Jr. Why?

Bob Giraldi: My vision was a tragic story that probably would have ended happily: The father is perhaps the greatest pop singer in the history of the world, a cult figure, a strong inspiration to men. The boy, who would never be able to follow in those footsteps, tries anyway. He embarks on an impossible career. He rises, falls, levels off, winds up doing obscure club dates in Minnesota or wherever. He encounters tragedies surrounding the family: his childhood kidnapping; coping with the women in his father's life; finally, the realization that he can't be who he thinks he should be. The message: We can only be ourselves. The young boy grows up and comes to terms with this horrible, tough life. [Pauses] They stopped me. The old man would never allow it. But I didn't want to do an exposé or an exploitative movie. A similarly incredible film was made about Jake LaMotta--Raging Bull. But that was a negative piece. I would have made a positive statement. Hollywood would have hated it. But Hollywood doesn't know anything about making movies.

Q 14

PLAYBOY: On the sets of the Miller Lite commercials, who gets more respect--you or Rodney Dangerfield?

Bob Giraldi: Rodney gets all the respect in the world from everybody. He always runs around making people crazy. I once said that I'd never seen a more insecure actor, which I still honestly believe. He got very angry at that and accosted me. But the fact is, he constantly tugs at his tie and asks how he looks. Well, he obviously looks terrific. His stuff is incredible. He's a great addition to the All-Stars and a perfect catalyst. But he doesn't hang out. Rodney is not one of the guys. He doesn't sit around a bar with Billy Martin and drink away the evening. But his nervous energy is contagious. No matter what anyone says about Rodney, everybody performs better when he's around.

Q 15

PLAYBOY: How does a man who regularly berates such monsters as Bubba Smith and Boog Powell to their faces live to tell the tale?

Bob Giraldi: You mean me? Because they trust me. I've done good by them. They know I feel for all of them genuinely and like them. They're the biggest kids in the world. I call our set the Zoo. I don't demean them. What I do is holler at them, but in my own lovable way.

I'll never forget standing over them on a Fort Lauderdale beach where we were doing the Lite tug-of-war commercial. It was the end of the day. Their hands were red and ripped and bleeding. The sun was beating down. They looked like lobsters, and they were tired of pulling. I just needed one great take, but they weren't giving it to me. I started screaming, "Why, you bunch of has-beens! What the hell's the matter with you? Maybe your careers are all over, but mine's just starting! For Christ's sake, pull, you bastards!" Then I looked into the eyes of Ray Nitschke on one end and Nick Buoniconti on the other, and I realized that, if they wanted to, they could see to it that the world never heard from me again. But they decided instead to pull just a little harder. And that time, it worked. They sensed that I was only after a great shot. Somebody's got to be the coach. These guys are athletes.

Q 16

PLAYBOY: America wants to know: Who is that giggly blonde in those commercials? Is she everything you expected in a woman or less?

Bob Giraldi: Her name is Lee Meredith and she is a New Jersey housewife. She's a very fine actress and a very, very bright lady. That ditz character is all fake. In the spots, I guess she's Mickey Spillane's bimbo. The Doll. The guys are always after her on the set, making jokes about her bust and fanny. I can't repeat what they say or else they'll really kill me. Martin is after her every three seconds. But she is a highly respected member of that team.

Q 17

PLAYBOY: Tell us some Zoo stories. Which All-Stars cut up? Which don't get it?

Bob Giraldi: Everybody's fun behind the scenes. It's one prank after another. Bubba Smith: I made him tear open a beer can 60 times in his first commercial. He couldn't get the lines. Today it would be nothing for him, because he's turned out to be one of the best performers of all. Great at underplayed comedy. Bob Uecker: funniest man in the world. He likes to walk around the set with my little eyepiece and play director. He gives camera guys and prop men orders like "Danny, shoot her at five-eleven or nine-two!" He doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. Screws them all up. Billy Martin: classy. A jokester capable of putting lighted matches in shoe soles. That's his thing. Dick Butkus: takes his work very seriously. Yet he's one of the biggest kids of all. A great instigator, along with Red Auerbach and Tommy Heinsohn. They love to start trouble between people and break balls. They like getting Rodney pissed off. Marv Throneberry: quietest guy of all. But he's not dizzy. All he ever says--on- or offcamera--is "I don't know why they asked me to do this commercial."

Q 18

PLAYBOY: Let's ponder the influence of advertising on modern life. If it can't be said in 30 seconds, is it still worth saying?

Bob Giraldi: I don't want to agree with that at all. Unfortunately, the world does. Advertising has created a population that bores quickly, and we're more visually oriented. I read recently that you can see about 175 cuts in a five-minute video, whereas a half-hour episode of I Love Lucy had maybe 12 scenes at most. We have become the Show-Me Generation.

Everybody wants an answer quickly. If a guy calls to sell you insurance, he's got to talk fast before you hang up. You've got to get your word in edgewise or else I'm not gonna listen to it. It's rare for somebody to just sit down and say deliberately, "Now, Bob, look at me and listen." I'll doze off. We've become the fastest country in the world--even in our lovemaking. One has only to go to Europe to realize how fast we are. If we don't get our check in a restaurant sooner than a minute after we're finished eating, we become incensed. We think the waiter has gone off to have a smoke. We are impatient people, because of the incredible deluge of advertising.

Q 19

PLAYBOY: If you're someday asked to appear in a commercial, what product would you feel most comfortable selling?

Bob Giraldi: The American Express card. Can't you see it? "Do you know me? I'm the guy who helped Michael Jackson beat it...."

Q 20

PLAYBOY: What should you never say to an ex-athlete?

Bob Giraldi: Number one: Never say, "You're old." Athletes have the same egos and insecurities as movie stars. Number two and maybe more important: Never tell him that he can't go to his left anymore. That's the lowest.