Listen up, Kobe Byrant, Stephon Marbury, Lou Dobbs, Al Sharpton, Bill O'Reilly, Jesse Jackson, Barry Bonds, Barack Obama and George Bush -- TNT's biggest mouth has something to say to you

Q 1

PLAYBOY: On TNT's Inside the NBA, you frequently spar with co-hosts Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith. If your boat were sinking and you could save only one of them, whom would you choose?

Charles Barkley: That's the stupidest question I've ever been asked. Kenny's obviously got no chance. Not only that, we'd probably take some of his body parts in case we couldn't get food -- we could eat him a couple of days later. Wait, it depends on the destination. If the boat is going to Miami to hang out, I might take Kenny. Ernie just wants to go to Dairy Queen all the damn time.

Q 2

PLAYBOY: Your contract with TNT ends after this season. What will you do?

Charles Barkley: I work one day a week. If I turn this job down I'm a damn fool. We work every Thursday. The other six days I'm free. Why would I turn this job down? Unless I could come back and play.

Q 3

PLAYBOY: This season has been full of drama. Stephon Marbury walked out on the Knicks. Kobe Bryant battled with the Lakers. What is going on in the NBA?

Charles Barkley: I think the main thing is that guys are making so much money you can't control them anymore. That's unfortunate. You've got guys who are always hawking to be traded, guys who say they're going to do things their way no matter what. It's unfortunate because it hurts the game. They've got what we call fuck-you money. Stephon Marbury makes $20 million a year. There's nothing they can do to him, so he'll always do things his way.

Q 4

PLAYBOY: Kobe Bryant allegedly text messaged you several times in response to negative comments you made about him. Do players regularly confront you about things you've said?

Charles Barkley: Yeah, but my job is for the fans. Kobe doesn't ever call me or text me when I say he's the best player in the NBA. He doesn't call and thank me. That's one thing that's very interesting in my life right now. When I played, I thought the players were always right. You live in your own environment. One thing being on television has done is that I have to sit back and be fair. I've realized some players are fucking idiots.

Q 5

PLAYBOY: But are they worth putting up with for their talent?

Charles Barkley: Kobe is. Stephon Marbury is not. I always tell people you can be a pain in the ass if you're a great player. If you're not a good player, you can't be a pain in the ass. You have to earn it.