Q 6

PLAYBOY: There was a controversy last summer over your love scene with Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman: "Did they or didn't they?" Care to cast your vote?

Debra Winger: Camera angles. Also, it was all done in one long shot, which made it seem hotter than it was. Actually, I was hardly there. I saw my grandmother flying past the window carrying a Bible. I was worried about someone I love misunderstanding what I do for a living. But it didn't stop me from doing the scene; in fact, it helped me get through. My grandparents are metaphors for my moral beliefs. I love them dearly and they are just another side of me.

Q 7

PLAYBOY: What stays with you most about the bull ride in Urban Cowboy?

Debra Winger: That I'll never get on one again. I was afraid I could never have children. But I did have fun doing it, which most people don't realize was its main attraction to me. Reviewers talk about how sexy the ride was. But I just approached the scene innocently. I don't mean with an intended sense of innocence. Later, it was labeled erotic, and that taught me something. Innocent is erotic. Obvious is never sexy. I've used being sexy--lips moving, eyes--for humor. It's very funny. But sometimes, it can also be very sad.

Q 8

PLAYBOY: You used to be a stand-up comedienne. What's your favorite Jewish-American-princess joke?

Debra Winger: My favorite clean one is, What's a Jewish-American princess' ideal home? Thirteen rooms; no kitchen, no bedroom. You want a racy one? Why do Jewish-American princesses wear gold-plated diaphragms? They like men who come into money. I'm the queen of Jewish-American-princess jokes.

Q 9

PLAYBOY: : Did your parents support your early decision to act, or were you supposed to marry a nice doctor or lawyer?

Debra Winger: My parents never put that on me. They'd like me to marry a nice Jewish director. No, no. They just want me to be happy. At first, they weren't entirely supportive of my career; but in their shoes, I wouldn't have been, either. It looked bleak at first. It was as if I were jumping off a nice, warm ship into the freezing-cold water. But I learned how to swim and I found the Bahamas. When I got there, they were happy for me. Now they're finding out that there are storms in the Bahamas and it's not always going to be so nice. That's my metaphor.

Q 10

PLAYBOY: Your new film, Mike's Murder, written and directed by James Bridges, who also directed Urban Cowboy, has some moments of blood and gore. What are your thoughts about film violence?

Debra Winger: Mike's Murder is a psychological drama that works backward from a death and is seen entirely through my character's eyes. The death is an event that might have been violent. But by the time we get to that violent act, we discover that the true violence was the violence in my imagination when I saw the bloody room and worked backward. Sometimes, the things we imagine are far more violent than what we will ever experience in our daily lives. Most violent films go wrong because they don't make that point clear.

Q 11

PLAYBOY: Does the same thing apply to sexual fantasies?

Debra Winger: Not quite. We can actually live out those fantasies--and I define the word as imagination rather than hope for some event to come true--without violence, unless you're into S/M or hurting someone. I don't find that my imagination stops me from doing anything sexually. However, the fantasy itself can be so satisfying that I will just enjoy it for what it is. A fantasy is like having a secret with myself, which I love. Sometimes, I let the secrets simmer for a few years, or months or days; sometimes, only hours. Sometimes, I try them out and am real surprised at how great they are. I am also careful to differentiate between fantasy and reality, so that I don't feel bad about my life's never living up to my imagination. Otherwise, I'd be caught in a never-ending search for Mr. Right, and it would be sad to be 45 or 50 years old and realize that while I'd lived out a lot of stuff, I still didn't have the kid, family and home I wanted.

Q 12

PLAYBOY: Given the option, would you rather your boyfriend or husband not be famous?

Debra Winger: If I were to look at it that way, I would have to also think about myself being one or the other. And since I don't, and since my private life is private, I don't have any problems with it. But I don't have a thing about never dating directors or actors.

On the other hand, I have certain friends--actors who have to remain nameless--whom I won't go out with in public because of how the press would treat it. I'll talk with them on the phone or visit them at home, but in public, it becomes a thing. To the press, it becomes the only relationship in your life. That's a real precarious situation. So I'm the take-out queen. It's take-out food tonight, because I want to spend time with friends and not have it end up in print.