Q 13

PLAYBOY: Tell us something about John Belushi that we don't know already.

Ed Begley, Jr.: John really saved my neck when we were making Goin' South in Mexico with Jack. I had gotten into the foolish habit of entering drinking contests with Jack's now-deceased uncle, Shorty Smith, who was a great guy with great stories. We got along right away--we were both quart-a-day vodka men. These contests went on for a while and I never won. I got kind of ill in the competition. Belushi saw that I was headed for great disaster and physically dragged me out of the hotel lounge. He said, "Come on, you've spent enough time in here. We're going outside. I've rented a car." I hadn't really been outside the saloon the whole time I was there. He and his wife, Judy, took me for rides around the Mexican countryside. We had great times together.

When my daughter Amanda was born, he bought this beautiful little pink quilt as a gift, which he kept in New York until he came to L.A. to see her. It seems he took such a liking to the quilt that he started using it himself, snuggling under it for watching TV. He didn't want to give it up. Finally, Judy reminded him that they'd bought it for a small child. So when they came to L.A., he made it a point to tell me that he had grown quite attached to this little blanket and what a sacrifice it was to give it up. He was a great guy.

Q 14

PLAYBOY: There was a low point in your career when you chucked acting to become a cameraman. Ultimately, which is harder work?

Ed Begley, Jr.: Oh, the camerawork is much harder. I was an assistant cameraman, which involved maintaining the camera, loading the magazines, threading them through, doing the follow focus, all that business. I worked on a lot of location shooting for low-budget movies. I'd be a human tripod, then carry the camera around deserts in the heat. All this equipment is very heavy, too, It's a hard gig. But I've never been one of those actors who sit around waiting for the phone to ring and enrolling in more classes, I always wanted to make a living. So I was not averse, as recently as five years ago, to taking some carpentry jobs, putting up dry wall and framing work. I have no pride in that area. No way.

Q 15

PLAYBOY: Let's not overlook your short-lived stand-up-comic years. Why was it that you got no respect?

Ed Begley, Jr.: Actually, I've painted a kind of gloomy picture of my night-club act. Several people who were there at the time have taken exception and seem to have thought it was really good. I thought about it and realized I had had only about three bad nights over four years of intensive stand-up. During the early Seventies, I did clubs, colleges and concerts and opened for Dave Mason, Canned Heat, Loggins and Messina, Poco, Neil Sedaka, my good friend Don McLean. And, basically, I couldn't do it anymore. I got tired of my material and, eventually, I hated my act. I'd do characters, you know, like this musician named Bernie Synapse, who didn't play an instrument, which he felt would have been all part of "the same capitalistic scheme, man." Instead, he played his body. So I'd rap out this tune on my actual person. In case you're wondering, I hit the high notes on my cheeks.

Q 16

PLAYBOY: Most comics can't get arrested, yet you did. Tell us about it.

Ed Begley, Jr.: I was working the Troubadour on Santa Monica. My opening piece was always a cop routine for which I wore an authentic uniform that I'd made. I would be introduced as "Officer Ed Begley, West Hollywood Police Division." I'd take the stage and give this spiel: "Hi, kids, I'm here tonight to rap with you about a problem we're having in the community. I'm talking about drugs, and we'll be discussing the whole gamut: the reds, the yellows, downers, dragonflies, snapping turtles--everything from the first reefer to the final needle in the arm and trip to the morgue." It was supposed to be a put-on, though it prophesied what would come later in my life, since I came real close to checking out from chemical imbalances myself. Anyway, this was my most popular bit.

On the evening in question, I had gone out to my car to get some props. My luck, a sheriff's-department car was in the parking lot. The cops were waiting to nab some guy who'd done something nefarious. They were instantly confused by my L.A.P.D. uniform, because this wasn't technically L.A.P.D. territory. They very quickly realized that I wasn't from the L.A.P.D. at all, and they were naturally quite pissed. I said, "Wait, I'm just playing here! I'm just an actor! Do you go onto the set of Adam 12 and arrest Kent McCord and Marty Milner?"

I was taken to the station, where I figured I'd be able to talk to someone with an above-Cro-Magnon mentality. When the desk sergeant did a knuckle walk over to where I stood, I knew I was in big trouble. I was put in county jail with some very serious offenders and waited three days to go to trial. Very high bail, very serious crime--impersonating an officer. But I found that I did some of my funniest work in the jail cell. I was going a mile a minute. You know, you want to keep their minds off other things.

Q 17

PLAYBOY: Describe your business card.

Ed Begley, Jr.: Where did you hear about this? Currently, it says, ED BEGLEY, JR., SINCE 1949. A simple bit of chronology, really. I've had several business cards, however. From about 1974 on, my card read, ED BEGLEY, JR., SERVING THE WORLD. By 1982, I'd decided that serving the world had gone on long enough--too much responsibility for one guy. So I changed it to ED BEGLEY, JR., HOLLYWOOD PHONY. People didn't know quite how to take that. I can't imagine why.

Q 18

PLAYBOY: Women in Hollywood are said to be attracted to you. What's your allure?

Ed Begley, Jr.: No! Who told you that? jeez, I don't know.... That's a good question. I love women. And I love my wife. It's true that I have a lot of women friends, with whom I get along very well. I guess part of it is that they feel safe knowing I'm not going to make any moves on them. There's no confusion for a moment. But, mainly, here's what it is: I find a good audience in women. They seem to like a senses of humor; they like to laugh. When I'm around women, I always feel the need to entertain them. I perform. I have my good nights and my bad nights, but the good seem to outnumber the bad. Perhaps they like me for that reason. Jeez...

Q 19

PLAYBOY: Do Valley boys ever grow up?

Ed Begley, Jr.: It's funny you should ask. I was thinking about that today. In some ways, I grew up around the time I turned 30. In other ways, I still haven't grown up. I'm very childish, even though I'm the father of two kids. Sometimes they're more adult than I am. I never get serious unless I think it's needed--and it's rarely needed. I seem to take child raising very lightly. They're like peers. We're always rolling around on the carpet. I'm constantly playing jokes on them, making empty threats and insane statements. They'll be eating their cereal and I'll say, "You get right to bed, right now!" "What have we done?" "I'll think of something!" Of course, they don't move. This is good for discipline. Basically, I've ruined two children's lives, but they have a good time.

Q 20

PLAYBOY: When are you at your absolute smoothest?

Ed Begley, Jr.: When I'm roller-skating. That's my smoothest. I walk in a clumsy fashion and I look very silly when I'm dancing. I have no dancing skills, though I overcompensate with a great deal of energy. But when I've got my skates on, I look great. I've always skated.