Q 6

PLAYBOY: Is it strange for your children to be Frank Zappa's kids?

Frank Zappa: If we lived in Brooklyn, it would be a different story. But I'm virtually unknown here. If you are the son or daughter of somebody who is a TV star, it's a different story. It's very strange down at this school. The kids all talk about "How many bathrooms you got in your house?" and that kind of thing.

Q 7

PLAYBOY: Do you go to P.T.A. meetings at the school?

Frank Zappa: I go down to the school. I don't belong to the P.T.A., but whenever there are plays and musicals and things like that that I can attend, I go. And, no, I don't help them with their homework. I'm not competent to do that. If they need any advice in my field of expertise, it's there any time. But the stuff they're doing now is outside my specialization.

Q 8

PLAYBOY: We read that David Bowie's son, Zowie, now prefers to be called Joe. How do your children--Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet and Diva--like their names?

Frank Zappa: They don't have any problems with their names. Remember, they're going to school in the Valley. They've got some other weird names down there. When Moon was young, she came in and announced that she wanted to change her name. I said, "Fine, what do you want to change it to?" She said, "Beautyheart." So that blew over after a while. And before Diva was born, Ahmet came in and said, "I have the perfect name for my new little sister," 'cause he was convinced it was going to be a girl. I said, "Yeah, really? What do you think we should call her?" He said, "Bone Sauce." That one didn't work. I liked Diva better, because she was screaming louder than the other babies in the hall at the hospital where she was born.

Q 9

PLAYBOY: Some people are surprised that you've written for and worked with several of the world's best symphonies. Where do classical music and rock 'n' roll meet?

Frank Zappa: I don't think that classical in the ordinary sense has anything to do with rock 'n' roll. When I write music for orchestra, if it ever gets played, it will be consumed by a rock 'n' roll audience, not by the same people who go to see Beethoven's Fifth. Most music in the United States is consumed only because of its fashionable function in relation to a given person's lifestyle. If you're a very modernistic kind of person with modern hair and so forth, you will not go and hear country-and-western music, even if you like it. There are cultural boxes that people put themselves into, and they stay there. For people who have a hard time figuring out the way the world works, I guess it helps.

Q 10

PLAYBOY: Are you an exception, comfortable at a rock show and at an L.A. Philharmonic concert?

Frank Zappa: The fact is, I do neither. I don't go to see the L.A. Philharmonic, because I don't think it's very good and its repertoire doesn't entice me out of the house. I don't go to rock shows, because I'm not interested in what's being played at rock shows. I would buy a ticket to see the Chicago Symphony play Arcana, by Edgard Varèse, for instance. But that ain't gonna happen, so I'm staying home. Boulez is my favorite conductor. A lot of people think he's too cerebral. A lot of conductors like to look good while conducting, and they wave their arms around a lot--a series of useless gestures that don't tell the musicians where the beat is. And if the beat isn't clear, the musicians don't play the notes all at the same time, the way they ought to, so the chords don't stack up right. With some music, such as slovenly romantic sleaze, it's no big deal, but I like a more rhythmic approach, and Boulez has always been careful about that.

Q 11

PLAYBOY: Would you get dressed up in a suit and tie--or even a tuxedo--if the occasion called for it?

Frank Zappa: Well, I have many suits and ties. I mean, I've been to court before. I've got all the costumes necessary to deal with the world. I even own a tuxedo, but I very seldom wear it. I've got a suit by Giorgio Armani and another one by Yves Saint Laurent and another one by some Italian whose name I can't remember. I've always had suits. As a matter of fact, one time, I went to the Grammy Awards in this beautiful blue suit and no shirt. Try it some time. Got a suit? Wear it without a shirt. It looks great, especially if you've got a tan. You got to do your neck, though. Hold a cigarette lighter up there.

Q 12

PLAYBOY: Describe the state of rock 'n' roll.

Frank Zappa: The state of radio determines the state of rock 'n' roll. A healthy society would not tolerate what's going on the air right now. That broadcasting is in the state it is tells me there are a lot of people out there who like it, who crave it--and they're fucked. It's like ostrich time; stick your head in the sand. People give up, they're afraid of the future. The biggest things that sell are the noncontent records--records that sound OK but say nothing--and all of them sound the same. I'm a pretty good listener, but I find it difficult to tell the difference between REO Speedwagon and Journey. They all blend together because it's planned that way. The radio becomes wallpaper to your lifestyle. Certain types of themes and ideas are repeated over and over again. You turn on the radio to your favorite station that plays those special kinds of noises. And it triggers the same response over and over again. It becomes your life.