Q 13

PLAYBOY: How large is your erotica collection and tell us where it's housed.

John Candy: It can be seen at the Smithsonian. I was brought up in a Victorian-style house. It was very hard to hide the stuff under the mattress. It was very lumpy. Actually, it was a relief when I got rid of it, because it was uncomfortable. The Smithsonian was very glad to get it. They hadn't seen one in centuries. It had been passed on from Candy to Candy. I'm not quite sure how old it was.

It was harder with children. I had to take an apartment. After my second child was born, I had a moving van come in and take it all. There was a celebrity erotica auction for charity to which I gave a lot of it. It did quite well.

Q 14

PLAYBOY: Reveal a big man's sex secrets.

John Candy: Patience.

Q 15

PLAYBOY: To what extent is size a love weapon?

John Candy: The size of your wallet is very important. It should be bulging at all times. I think that usually speaks louder than anything else. Green stuff should be hanging all over the place.

Q 16

PLAYBOY: When was the last time a woman wanted you for your mind?

John Candy: A nurse at the hospital was setting me up for a CAT scan. She was wearing a very revealing outfit.

Q 17

PLAYBOY: How do you juggle being a father and a party monster?

John Candy: You've got to teach your kids when they're young. Show them how to mix that drink and work that blender. How to keep things real cool on ice. Keep that fridge stocked. How to use a credit card.

My daughter has never seen the mudwrestling scene in Stripes. She would think it was silly. Just Dad wrestling in the mud. It would look kind of fun.

The two roles are so separate to me. We entertain a lot at the house. There's always a party going on. The music's up and everybody's having a good time. Both kids like a lot of people. When my daughter was three weeks old, she was at a major party. My wife had her in a Snugli and the child was having a good time. She's all right. The kids have logged so many miles between them. They've been on sets. They're little gypsies. That's just the lifestyle. They see people at their house who are on TV.

Q 18

PLAYBOY: What was a typical menu at your parents' house?

John Candy: We had a combination of ethnic cooking. We lived with my grandparents. My grandmother was Polish, so we had a lot of cabbage rolls and coffee. There was the North American diet and my grandmother would cook that roast until it got good and gray. I never knew meat was pink until I was twenty-three. Ooooo, what's this? Pink. Ooooo, send it back. Boil those vegetables down.

Now my mother cooks Pritikin a lot. In summer, there's always stuff from the garden. Take-out food. A lot of barbecues. It depends on the occasion.

I guarantee you, no one ever walked into the house who didn't get fed. There were some fine meals. I look back now and that house was so small. How could twenty people fit in there? We did. There were Christmas and New Year's parties. It was great. Good memories.

Q 19

PLAYBOY: How rigorous is the John Candy workout regimen?

John Candy: My weight fluctuates drastically. I'm trying to keep it on an even keel. Diet and exercise are very important in my life. My metabolism is slow, so exercise is very important for me to burn fat. I can eat a normal fifteen-hundred-to-two-thousand-calorie-a-day diet and put on lots of weight. If I exercise, I can keep it down. I try to use the treadmill twice a day--at least an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. A cardiovascular workout is very important for me. I work with weights now. My goal is to learn to discipline myself. It'll become a daily part of my life. I've never liked exercise. Pain was never fun for me. Some people get a real kick out of it and I respect those people. I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy--eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it. Therein lies the rub.

Q 20

PLAYBOY: When was the last time you were embarrassed?

John Candy: Eugene and I were flying from L.A. to New York on the Splash junket and there was an actor who came on board whom we knew, and I thought it was Michael Ontkean, who was in Slap Shot. Toward the end of the flight, I went over and said, "Jeez, I just laughed at Slap Shot. I thought you were great in it." He said, "That was Michael Ontkean. I was in Missing. I'm John Shea." Oh. And Eugene's laughing. I could die. I was fumbling all over the place. And then I was in line with him all the way down to the baggage claim.