Q 13

PLAYBOY: What advice have you for young people who hope to become vacuous?

Max Headroom: Vacuous can mean "empty and lacking in substance"; but very intelligent people, such as--dare I say it?--PLAYBOY interviewers, use it to describe something "rare that is uncommon, exceptional, etc." I'm sorry, but I didn't want anyone to be confused--not everyone can lay his hands on a dictionary. Isn't English a wonderful language?

Q 14

PLAYBOY: Surprisingly enough, some people find you shallow, and we've even heard you called two-dimensional. Would you care to answer the charges?

Max Headroom: There's a lot of jealousy in this business, and it wouldn't surprise me if those same people called Bob Hope's jokes or Barry Manilow's songs or Sylvester Stallone's intellect shallow. What can I say? I could debate whether or not being a "some people" type of critic is a more shallow business than being an actual performer all day. But I can't be unkind; I couldn't if I wanted to be. As to my being two-dimensional--well, what's a dimension here or there between shallow friends?

Q 15

PLAYBOY: Which is inherently better--a live broadcast or a recorded one?

Max Headroom: Whether I do a show live or recorded makes no difference to me. You just get to the first tee quicker with a live show.

Q 16

PLAYBOY: What special features that the rest of us should envy do you have as standard equipment?

Max Headroom: Please, don't use words like envy. Envy is demeaning; it destroys people and brings adults down to the level of children, with their irrational whims and unattainable demands. But, since you ask: perfection!

Q 17

PLAYBOY: Are you as good in black and white as you are in color? Describe the philosophical differences between the two.

Max Headroom: I don't think I am as radiant in black and white. The reason is that color gives you a rather full and strange effect with things like reds, blues and greens. And black and white makes things look sort of black and white. But let's not get too philosophical.

Q 18

PLAYBOY: What would it take for you to become president of CBS?

Max Headroom: A far less interesting interview.

Q 19

PLAYBOY: Two writers are being given a lot of credit for your success. Do you resent that?

Max Headroom: Do you mean Paul Owen and David Hansen? No, I don't resent it. They've tried ever so hard to get out of the Sixties time warp they've been in. When I first met them, they were traveling around Europe with open-toed sandals and a copy of some Ken Kesey novel and were living on five dollars a day. That was two years ago. Actually, we get on quite well, considering that they flatly refuse to tear the PETER, PAUL AND MARY stickers off their briefcases. It's embarrassing; I mean, I found them late at night standing on the open-air balcony at Heathrow airport in London, waiting for the Beatles to come back from America. How could you resent people like that? Pity--yes. Resent--hardly.

Q 20

PLAYBOY: With whom would you like to share a horizontal hold?

Max Headroom: Well, this may sound rather romantic and even a bit naive, but I'll share my program space with any caring and sensitive lady-- preferably someone with room in her space for mutual respect, with the right ebb-and-flow attitude and with a compatible spirit that gels to make a meaningful relationship with shared growth. And big tits are a must.