Q 6

PLAYBOY: When God created women, what did He get right and get wrong?

Rebecca De Mornay: A woman is a wonderful creature. The dynamic of men and women, the beauty and the sadness of what men and women get right and get wrong and the misunderstandings that happen can often be illuminated directly in sexual intercourse. The man has to become hard, the woman has to become soft. The man has to push in and withdraw and push in and withdraw, the woman closes around him and embraces him. The woman fears abandonment and aggression, the man fears suffocation. Neither comes to anything without the other. And when they respect each other, they dissolve and become one. The mystery of men and women is beautiful; the war created by misunderstanding is sad. Even if you don't understand these things, you're illuminated instantly in the act of sex.

Q 7

PLAYBOY: And what do you know for certain about love?

Rebecca De Mornay: That's the only question that really interests me. I know three things: The first one I realized when I was sixteen. There had been a bombing in Beirut, and I saw a photograph in a newspaper of a woman stretched out across the rubble of this bombing site, with her face contorted in a grimace of misery because her husband was underneath the rubble. I stared at her face and asked myself: Is there anyone that I know or have ever known that I would feel that way about? At that point, I couldn't answer yes. The second thing I also learned when I was a teenager. I had many boyfriends and I was in love a lot, supposedly. I didn't want to make love because I had a certain idea about the first time. But I was involved in some serious embraces. [Smiles] Finally, I went to this girl who I knew had slept with somebody and I said that during these embraces I had felt such and such. I asked, "Did I have an orgasm?" She said, "If you have to ask, then you didn't have one." The third thing I know is that there's only one kind of love that everyone's really turned on by. It has to do with forgiveness.

There are so many feelings that fall under the blanket of loving someone. Yet we have only one word to describe them all. There are so many different ways to love, different gradations. Like a haiku. Yet, whether it's sharing silence or wild sex, the element of forgiveness is what we're all looking for.

Q 8

PLAYBOY: Describe Leonard Cohen and then describe yourself when you are with him.

Rebecca De Mornay: I'll compromise with you, because I'm reluctant to talk about my personal life. Someone asked me, "What's your favorite color?" and I had to give four adjectives. Then I was asked, "What's your favorite animal?" and I had to give four attributes. Later, I was told that the four adjectives for color were how I saw myself, and the four attributes of the animal were what I was looking for in the opposite sex. So, my favorite color is black. I said it is mysterious, strong, feminine, unknowable. My favorite animal is a wolf: magnificent, lethal, misunderstood and mates for life.

Q 9

PLAYBOY: What do older men know that younger men don't?

Rebecca De Mornay: They may not have the stamina, but they usually get it right the first time.

Q 10

PLAYBOY: We suspect that most beautiful women can sense when a man wants them--because most men probably do. Who's more intriguing: a man who's obviously desirous, or a man who is but hides it?

Rebecca De Mornay: I don't like a lot of hiding. You can hide yourself completely. Hiding is for advanced people. What turns me on, besides this thing called chemistry--which is completely undefinable--is if I can sense that someone is into life, is into sex, is into compassion, is into justice, is into being alive. I'm not putting down attention to form, but there's something to the idea of breaking form. How many rules have you broken lately? You can read it in somebody's eyes. I want that person who can balance true integrity with abandon, with courage. I'm not interested in somebody who just, yeah, loves to fuck, loves to enjoy life. You really examine the thing on a deeper level and it comes out. Everything that you are, you see right away when you meet someone. You can't hide too much unless you're an advanced game player.

Q 11

PLAYBOY: How do you reward a guy who's interested in your mind?

Rebecca De Mornay: I give him something to think about.

Q 12

PLAYBOY: Writers tend to gush when describing you. They use "dark allure," "face like a saucer of cream," "sympathetic but repugnant," "she can shoot that look across the room that says 'I want you now.'" What does your face say when you're not trying to make it say anything at all?

Rebecca De Mornay: I just got a video camera. I've been shooting myself, setting it up facing a mirror, looking into the mirror. I was surprised because it was one of the few times I've seen myself on camera without makeup, with no pressure to perform. And I talked. I invented a monolog that was close to my heart at that moment. What I saw was this girl, a woman, whose face seemed extremely tender, sad and compassionate. That's probably not what would normally be associated with me.