Q 13

PLAYBOY: You've also played some spectacular morons. What's your technique for creating a stupid character? Does it require more acting or less?

Steve Carell: My technique is as follows: I sit on a wooden chair in my underpants and stare at a bare lightbulb for three to five hours. I then turn on the QVC shopping channel and purchase any items made of a poly-cotton blend. I complete the transformation by eating out of aluminum pans. It all sounds very complicated, but believe me, it works. Some say that it takes a high level of intelligence to play such dumb characters. I've found just the opposite to be true. I am truly an idiot in most matters. I just go to my highest level of functioning and work from there. I don't think it's much of a stretch for me to play an idiot, frankly. It's maybe a notch or two beneath where I function normally.

Q 14

PLAYBOY: This August you had your first starring role with The 40-Year-Old Virgin. And next you'll be playing Maxwell Smart in the Get Smart remake. How has your life changed since being promoted to leading man?

Steve Carell: My life hasn't changed at all. I keep expecting people to carry me about on a jewel-encrusted throne or to draw me a bath with exotic oils and rose petals, but so far, no go. Though recently I did purchase a new vacuum cleaner. It is superpowerful and lightweight, so I am living the good life.

Q 15

PLAYBOY: How did you prepare for your role in The 40-Year-Old Virgin? Did you abstain from sex before the shoot?

Steve Carell: I had 17 years of preparation to play a virgin. I didn't feel I needed any more than that.

Q 16

PLAYBOY: So how did you lose your virginity? Was it as personally embarrassing as it was for your character in the movie?

Steve Carell: It's funny; when I first started working on the movie, it dawned on me that I would eventually be asked that question. My wife's advice was simple: "Don't tell them." Let it suffice to say that my first time was a tremendous, earth-shattering experience. Two souls became one in a torrent of passion. I was an artistic lover, full of a powerful grace. She was shy yet willing and grew increasingly bold to my touch. And I am a liar.

Q 17

PLAYBOY: The original Maxwell Smart had a phone hidden in his shoe. For the Get Smart movie, will you get your own shoe phone? Is such a clunky spy gadget necessary in this age of cell phones?

Steve Carell: Probably not, but I'm going to insist on it anyway. There's just something about talking into your shoe that appeals to me. I've been doing it for years. I did that even before I knew I was going to get the part. I just love the smell of my own feet. Believe me, the gunk that collects in my shoes is like the nectar of the gods.

Q 18

PLAYBOY: You've worked with Will Ferrell quite a bit recently, first in Anchorman, then in Melinda and Melinda and most recently in Bewitched. What's the story here? Does he owe you money or something?

Steve Carell: The reason I continue to work with Will is because I'm a very good kisser. He's compared me to Nicole Kidman and Zooey Deschanel -- favorably, I might add. When I have to do a love scene now, I imagine Will's face on my co-star's head. I use emotional recall and go to that special place again. It helps make the scene more passionate, more real.

Q 19

PLAYBOY: You perform announcing duties for two wildly popular video games, Outlaw Golf and Outlaw Volleyball. Are you considering a side career in video games?

Steve Carell: I'd love to. Who wouldn't want to get paid for spending a couple of hours in a sound booth? I went in thinking, Yeah, free money! But it was so much harder than I thought it'd be. There are thousands of possible scenarios in a video game, and you have to do lines for all of them. It was pretty taxing. Then again, it's not like I was chopping down trees or anything. That sounds pretty whiny, doesn't it? "I had to say so many words. It was haaaard! Waaaah!"

Q 20

PLAYBOY: To paraphrase the rhetorical question posed in the closing song of your Comedy Central special, Steve Carell Salutes Steve Carell, how do you do it? How do you do those things you do to us? What are the processes by which you accomplish these things of which we are speaking just now?

Steve Carell: Those lyrics still make me cry. That is a question for the ages, and I don't think it can ever truly be answered. There is no response because, frankly, there is no question. It's very philosophical. It's so philosophical, in fact, that some people could interpret it as inane. It's the celebration of myself and everything I represent. I call it Sten, which is the Zen of Steve. Or perhaps Caren. I haven't decided yet, but I will.