Q 13

PLAYBOY: Sunglasses have often been part of your movie attire. How many pairs do you actually own? Do you lose them often? Ever been asked to do any eyewear ads?

Tom Cruise: I have only one pair now, sort of wire-rimmed but not aviator style. The lenses are black. They do the job. Sometimes I have a second pair, because my shades are always getting lost or crushed. I won't do ads. I'm an actor and not into that kind of stuff.

Q 14

PLAYBOY: Do you have a favorite acting-profession joke?

Tom Cruise: A guy is in a bar, talking to the bartender. He seems down and out, and the bartender is concerned. "The problem," the guy says, "is that I have an I.Q. of 185 and I can't find anyone to have a decent conversation with." Just then, the guy two scats away pipes up, "An I.Q. of 185? Mine's 184." So they start talking about Star Wars technology, black holes in space, theoretical mathematics. Farther down the bar, another guy says, "I have the same problem. My I.Q. is 135 and I can't find anyone to talk to." But a guy a couple of seats away says, "One thirty-five? Mine's 134." So they talk about their new BMWs, the best pasta, vacations in the Hamptons. Finally, a guy near the end of the bar says, "Wow. I have the, uh, same problem. My I.Q. is...85, and there's, uh, no one to talk to." But the guy next to him says, "Eighty-five? Mine is...84...can we talk?" "Sure," says the first guy. "About what?" "I don't know," says his new friend. "Let's see. Uh...been on any good auditions lately?"

Q 15

PLAYBOY: Defend Sean Penn.

Tom Cruise: He got a bum rap from the press with Racing with the Moon. The film didn't do well, not just because he wouldn't promote it. He did his job. He did hard work. If you feel comfortable doing interviews, fine. But if they make you nervous or you have nothing to say, why should you be pressured into doing them? Now everything he does is blown out of proportion. It must be a drag. And now that he's married Madonna--the wedding with all the helicopters, it was absurd. Though when you marry Madonna, it is pretty hard to keep things private. It was a beautiful setting, but the helicopters made it difficult to hear what was being said. But she's perfect for him. They're in love. The last time I saw Sean, he was really calm, feeling good about himself, focused, getting ready for another movie. What's important is the work an actor does. There he delivers.

Q 16

PLAYBOY: What's the most ridiculous rumor you've heard about yourself?

Tom Cruise: On the set of Top Gun, Duke Cunningham, a Naval ace, came up to me and said, "Congratulations, Tom, about your new house."

I said, "My house?" "Yeah, didn't you just buy a house next door to Cyndi Lauper in Connecticut?"

I said, "Wow. If I did, it must have been a hell of a night last night."

Q 17

PLAYBOY: When you cook to seduce, what's your meal of choice?

Tom Cruise: I make reservations. A bottle of Château Lafite at dinner is also nice.

Q 18

PLAYBOY: When in your career has a movie critic gone too far?

Tom Cruise: I read a review of my dance number in Risky Business that somehow failed to talk about my work. After I'd worked so hard to create a character, that was frustrating. Critics are supposed to educate the audience by discussing what they like and don't like about a film. But when one comments on the clothes I wear or how I talk, then I feel like saying, "Hey. just do your job." I don't read a lot of reviews, because if I believe all the great ones, then I have to believe the bad ones. I want people to like and respect my work, but I essentially do films for me.

Q 19

PLAYBOY: In Risky Business, Joel was urged to adopt the attitude "What the fuck." Was there a point in your life at which you did the same?

Tom Cruise: I think my whole life is "What the fuck." My family traveled. Each year, I was the new kid in school. I knew there was always going to be some jerk who would take a cut at me. Someone was going to say something weird about my sister. I learned early on just to take a deep breath and go for it.

Q 20

PLAYBOY: OK, let's see if you'll go for this: If you could be any woman you wanted to be for a day, who would that be?

Tom Cruise: The perfect woman.