Today’s Featured Question:
 
Whenever my new girlfriend and I have sex, she talks to me. I don’t mean she talks dirty, I mean she tries to have a conversation. She talks about her dogs, her job, her favorite TV show, her obsession with pizza and anything else that comes to mind. The last time we had sex she talked about the time her older brother caught her masturbating. How do I tell her this bothers me without making her feel bad?
—D.M., Kalamazoo, Michigan

Answer:
 
Believe it or not her chatter is a form of intimacy. The essence of many female friendships is the sharing of thoughts and feelings—what happened that day, what was said, the emotions evoked. Yet her timing could be better. Tell your girlfriend you love talking with her but that it can be distracting when you’re focused on giving her pleasure. If she talks about getting caught masturbating, take advantage. Request that she show you what she was doing. It’s good to have a conversation going; you just need to be able to change the subject.

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Photograph by Stewart Smith