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PLAYBOY:
So how did you lose your virginity? Was it as personally embarrassing as it was for your character in The 40-Year-Old Virgin? Steve Carell:
Let it suffice to say that my first time was a tremendous, earth-shattering experience. Two souls became one in a torrent of passion. I was an artistic lover, full of a powerful grace. She was shy yet willing and grew increasingly bold to my touch. And I am a liar. PLAYBOY:
Have you ever experienced a hunka hunka burning love? Nicolas Cage:
I have, but I've been taking antibiotics and it has cleared up. PLAYBOY:
Are you the antidote to Dr. Phil? Joe Rogan:
I always tell ladies, "Don't take relationship advice from a guy you don't want to fuck, because he's never going to tell you the truth. He's going to tell you exactly what you want to hear because that might get you to fuck him." You ask George Clooney a question, you're going to get an honest answer, because that guy could fuck anyone. PLAYBOY:
About what sexual habits do most men lie? Bernie Mac:
How long they fuck. How they tore up somebody's ass. Men lie on their dicks all the time. Women lie about good dick: "Girl, that dick, he can throw that ass." He can throw that money, is what it is. PLAYBOY:
Who is easier to please in bed, a man or a woman? Traci Lords:
I would have to say men. I've been with women, and I'm much more comfortable with men. Women are lovely and they're lovely to kiss and I certainly have no problem with the female form, but you always want the pesky penis at the end, and plastic just doesn't do it. PLAYBOY:
Let's pretend Seth is an action verb. What is Seth doing? Seth Green:
Seth is doing it and doing it and doing it well. I'm gonna Seth you so good after this interview. PLAYBOY:
What's the strangest question you've ever heard? Dr. Drew Pinsky:
A zoophiliac wanted to know why people react so terribly when he tells them he's involved with his dog. He trained his dog to mount him, and he gives it blow jobs. He talked about the dog as a consenting life partner. It was a collie. Brutus. PLAYBOY:
You're an avowed Howard Stern fan. In the spirit of the shock-jock, would you care to comment on the size of your penis and share your opinion on lesbians? Norm Macdonald:
One thing about my penis is that it's the same size when it's soft as when it's not soft. I thought everyone was like that, but some guys told me, no, their penises are tiny when they're not erect. PLAYBOY:
Who are the girls of Beavis and Butt-Head's dreams? Mike Judge:
Beavis has a thing for Tinkerbell. And they both want to see Snow White naked. They figure that if she'd do a dwarf she must be easy. But it'll never happen. I can never let them get laid. That would be like letting Charlie Brown kick the football. PLAYBOY:
What goes best with a Harley? Dennis Hopper:
What do you think? [Heavy laugh] Pussy, man! Pussy. PLAYBOY:
Fill in the blank: Republicans: Can't vote for them, can't _____. Sarah Jessica Parker:
Can't sleep with them. PLAYBOY:
What's better than sex? Dan Rather:
Nothing. No, let me amend that. Honor is better than sex. PLAYBOY:
What were your first sexual experiences like? Joan Rivers: I went out and bought a special dress for the occasion. It took longer to pick the dress than the whole sexual act. I guess our theme song was [sung to "I Feel Pretty"] "I feel nothing." PLAYBOY:
What's better than sex? Charlton Heston:
Getting it right. Getting it right one time. One thing about being an actor or a painter is that you never do get it right -- but always, maybe you're going to. Sex is great. You get it right. PLAYBOY:
Is your marriage monogamous? James Woods:
Yeah. A lot of guys think that when they have a problem with their marriage, the answer is to go out and fuck some bimbo. We've put mechanical sex high up on the altar of 20th Century America and it isn't very interesting. PLAYBOY:
Did either of your parents warn you about sex? Garry Shandling:
Yes. My mother came into my bedroom and said, "One day you will feel something when you're with a woman. Just don't." And another time, I asked her how the chemicals mixed between the male and the female. And she said, "Go look at the dogs in the front yard. Have you ever seen two dogs?" To this day, I'm afraid of being hosed down while I'm making love. PLAYBOY:
Do you remember what your first romance was like? Richard Lewis:
I had a banner over my head, INTERCOURSE OR BUST. 1964. PLEASE! Finally, I met this woman. She was far more advanced than I am now, even. My parents went to Puerto Rico for the weekend and I tried to lose my virginity. I tried it in every room of the house. And I finally did it in the -- it's sad -- I did it in my parents' bed. That moment of losing my virginity in my parents' bed was what catapulted me weeks later into psychoanalysis. PLAYBOY:
Is sex still good at 70? Jack La Lanne:
The biggest bunch of bullshit is that it's not. Use it or lose it, I say. I've got friends who are 70, 80, 90, and, Christ, they're horny bastards. Three or four times a week is nothing to them. PLAYBOY:
When is sex overrated? Robert Downey Jr.:
Before it happens. I hear if you jerk off first thing in the morning, no woman has the edge on you for the rest of the day. [Smiles] PLAYBOY:
Every band has its method of spotting beautiful women from the stage and recruiting them for post-concert duty. How do you cast your net? David Lee Roth:
During the guitar solo, I'll dance into a dark corner and say, "Beautiful blonde, red T-shirt, three feet back, number six." And a guard will radio down into the pit, and a guy will be on his way. [Laughs] See, the payoff out here is people. Not money.  If you enjoyed this, check out: |
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