1% Travel Guide: St. Barts

By Playboy.com Staff

We head to the West Indies to relax at the exclusive Le Sereno hotel.

Welcome to the 1% Travel Guide, your bible of the most tricked-out, exclusive destinations that money can buy.

Yet another boring week the in the office is at hand. You’re tired of the excessive board meetings on how to best solicit new clients. But seeing as you work for the nation’s largest funeral service provider, what can the suits really hope for in this situation? It’s times like these that you ask yourself, “How in the hell did I end up like this?” You command a fairly decent salary, but when was the last time you just went out and spent a wad of cash and treated yourself?

You haven’t seen your trophy wife in something other than flannel in a while so it’s time to book a vacation. Somewhere in the US? Nah, too many college kids. Greece? Too many protests. That’s when it hits you, it’s island time! After convincing the wife the company is paying for this (while clutching your credit card behind your back), you board the sunshine jet, order a double scotch on the rocks, and prepare for paradise.

After a perfect touchdown on the French island of St. Barts, your chauffeured limousine arrives as you clear customs. As the driver struggles to contain your wife’s luggage, you pop the cork on the authentic chilled Champagne waiting to be enjoyed.   You drive along the coast while your wife points out the relative lack of hotels compared to your last vacation in Hawaii…after remembering that was 20 years ago, and your honeymoon, you start to drink a little faster.

As you pull in to the Le Sereno resort, you marvel at both the sheer size of the property and the almost humorously disproportionate amount of people that it can accommodate. As the receptionist tells you that there are only 37 suites at the hotel you point to the open-air walkway leading towards the first block of rooms and ask if you should head this way with your key. The cute girl laughs, and while ignoring the unimpressed glare from wifey, informs you that you’re booked into one of the three signature villas and to follow her.

As you are led to what looks like a Frank Lloyd Wright inspired mansion on the beach, you ask about the design. After awkwardly explaining, in a notable Parisian accent to boot, something about how American designers couldn’t cut it; she wins the wife over by mentioning a French designer by the name of Christian Liaigre. Clueless information for you, but apparently speaks like the gods to your stylish better half (most days).

As you explore your astounding 7,000 sq.-ft. of private luxury, you glance at your iPhone receipt to be welcomed with the bill: a cool $22,500/day, that’s what you get vacationing after Christmas! Estimating your week long stay in this $10M palace will diminish your lifetime savings, you reconcile that hey, you only live once right? After stumbling upon the included MINI Cooper parked out back for your island cruising convenience you head down to the beachside pool to lap up the sun, and take in that million dollar view.

From being dragged to the 2,300 sq.-ft. tropical hardwood spa for a couples massage to the 24-hour butler service and the Mediterranean-style Restaurant des Pêcheurs reality begins to drip away as you become accustomed to the life you were meant to live (in your eyes anyway). Will it last? For a few more days yes. Was it worth it? Down to the last penny.

If you’re keen on checking it out for yourself,  you can check out Le Sereno: Here


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