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20 Greatest Songs with Swearing
  • March 21, 2014 : 07:03
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Quiet-storm seduction sheathed in a dirty condom. Only the late Christopher Wallace and, ahem, R. Kelly could make such a hellaciously filthy and crass declaration of intent (“You must be used to me spending / And all that sweet wining and dining / Well, I’m fuckin’ you tonight”) sound so bubble-bath romantic. Pro Tip to the Fellas: If you slip this onto one of your sexy-time playlists, you’d better hope your lady friend has a well-developed sense of irony.

Truthfully, the twisted accusation “Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?” isn’t even the most memorable blue line from Morissette’s monster 1995 breakthrough single. That honor goes to one of the greatest sexual humble-brags ever spat at an ex: “Would she go down on you in a theater?” Alanis, to her credit, never revealed the identity of the ungrateful moviegoer, but when Dave Coulier, best known as Uncle Joey on the goopy TV sitcom Full House, told an interviewer the song was probably about him, all of North America groaned a collective “Ewww.”

The most irresistible F-bomb in Top 40 history. Although CeeLo’s profane middle finger to a gold-digging ex and her Ferrari-driving beau had to be smuggled onto the charts as “Forget You,” you just know the censors didn’t have their shriveled hearts in it this time. Thanks to the combination of the track’s finger-popping Motown bounce, Green’s churchy tenor and the unbridled exuberance of the chorus’s expletive—“I see you driving ’round town with the girl I love / And I’m like, ‘Fuck you!’”—this is like getting cursed at by one of those big yellow smiley faces. So fuck you! (And fuck her too!)

Every music genre needs its “Take This Job and Shove It,” and thus this 1990 anthem from North Carolina indie-rock lifers Superchunk became the protest song for Kinko’s dead-enders in college towns nationwide who dreamed of flipping off their lazy bosses so they could devote time to their Pixies-influenced sock-puppet troupe. The competition is heated, but “I’m working / But I’m not working for you! / Slack motherfucker!” could be the best use of the sweariest of swear words in a song.

Parents: If you happen upon your angelic, adorable five-year-old singing, “This is fucking awesome,” blame Macklemore. And if you’re not a parent, well, fuck that guy anyhow.

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read more: entertainment, Celebrities, magazine, music, issue april 2014

1 comments

  • Tony
    Tony
    You forgot the grand daddy of all cuss songs. "Kick Out the Jams", by the MC5 FROM lINCOLN pARK, mi (Detroit)
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