PLAYBOY: You once wrote, “Nothing kills my libido quite like discussing politics.”
MCCAIN: Oh my gosh. It’s so true. I went on a date, like, a week ago, and the guy just wanted to talk policy and strategy the entire time. Talk about a mood killer. I’m obsessed with this stuff, but it doesn’t put me in the mood. When I’m dating, I want to hear what music a guy likes, what he does for fun, and I want him to make me laugh. If he can make me laugh, I don’t care if he looks like Zach Galifianakis; it’s an instant turn-on.
PLAYBOY: Why do so many politicians get caught up in sex scandals?
MCCAIN: I always say repression breeds obsession. Politicians have to be goody-goodies. They put on this face of perfection and pretend they’re completely above indiscretion. But the more you deny your sexual side, the more it builds up and comes out in inappropriate ways. Not to bring any particular politician into this discussion, but I always find it fascinating that the number one state per capita for downloading porn is Utah. All those pious Mormons and they’re drooling at their laptops all day.
PLAYBOY: What’s the standout memory from your stint as an intern on Saturday Night Live?
MCCAIN: Ashlee Simpson kicking her dressing room door after getting caught lip-synching. That was interesting to watch. Mostly I remember being a sort of office slave, which was fine. I was an assistant to Lorne Michaels’s assistant, so I spent most of the day getting coffee and filling up the popcorn bucket. I think everybody should have a crappy internship so they realize what a bitch it is getting other people’s shit work done.
PLAYBOY: What’s cool about being famous?
MCCAIN: People don’t recognize me that much unless I’m with my dad. I look different without makeup on, and usually I wear beanies and big sweaters and look like I’m drunk all the time. I got good seats at the Republican convention last time and got to meet all the Palins.
PLAYBOY: Bristol Palin took shots at you and your mom in her memoir, saying, “I’ve never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do hair and makeup.” What would you say if you bumped into her?
MCCAIN: I did bump into her at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, actually. I saw her across the room. That girl biffed it fast, totally took off. All that stuff she wrote was a total lie. I have, like, one Louis Vuitton purse. She’s just young and confused and was thrust into all this. The media aren’t kind to her. But once someone signs up for Dancing With the Stars, it’s hard to sympathize.
PLAYBOY: When can we expect Keeping Up With the McCains to air?
MCCAIN: Never! Hell would freeze over before I would do a reality show. I’ve been offered everything you could possibly imagine, and it just doesn’t interest me. You certainly won’t see me dancing on TV. I’m the worst. I have, like, two moves—the hair flip and the shoulder move and that’s it, baby.
PLAYBOY: And you’re still single?
MCCAIN: Oh my God, I love being single. I can do whatever the hell I want all the time. I have no one to check in with. When you’re in a serious relationship, you kind of have to check in before you go out with your friends or do whatever. I think I’m a bit of a commitment-phobe. Or maybe it’s just that I haven’t met the right guy. Dating’s okay, but guys can be weird. They think if they Google you and talk about stuff you’ve said, they get to make out with you at the end of the first date.
PLAYBOY: What’s up with your Hunter S. Thompson obsession? Wouldn’t he have hated your conservative views?
MCCAIN: I love, love, love Hunter. I read Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail in high school and loved his take on politics. I love the way he wrote with such disregard for authority and the status quo. I’ve been considering getting his quote “Buy the ticket, take the ride” tattooed on my body, but I haven’t decided. I told my friend, and she said it sounds really sexual, so we’ll see. But trust me, Hunter and I would have been fast friends. He was on Late Night With Conan O’Brien once and he was drinking whiskey and shooting guns. I appreciate both those things. We would have understood each other.
PLAYBOY: What’s your firearm of choice?
MCCAIN: I’m a big fan of Remington shotguns. They’re accurate and powerful and great for skeet shooting, which I love. My brother’s trying to convince me to get a revolver. A single girl can never be too careful, he says.
PLAYBOY: How often do you talk to your parents?
MCCAIN: Oh, every day. My mom calls me in the morning and wants to gossip about something. My dad watches every single thing I do on TV and will call either to talk about why some supercommittee failed or to say, “Oh, Meghan, why’d you say that?”