Twitter is all about the one-liners, and these nine people have it down to a science. Here’s our list of the funniest Twitter accounts we just can’t get enough of lately.
Jenny Mollen - @JennyAndTeets
Followers: 85,114
Why: Not only is she a looker, Jenny’s insight on life is hilarious and candid and she has no problem with cutting the shit when it comes to pleasantries. (Read her #AskPlayboy column here)
Spin class: for people who like having orgasms in a group setting
— Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets) December 14, 2012
Sarah Silverman - @SarahKSilverman
Followers: 3,813,578
Why: Whether she’s tweeting about controversial topics or farts, Sarah has a charm that’s unlike any other.
Click onbald vagina 2 donate:(I)
— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) December 23, 2012
Jenny Johnson - @JennyJohnsonHi5
Why: The girl who got Chris Brown to delete his Twitter account. Everyone speaks their mind on Twitter, but Jenny says everything you wish you had the balls to say about today’s celebrities.
I can't sleep. I'm afraid Tilda Swinton is in my bedroom and I can't see her. I'm scared.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) January 4, 2013
Moshe Kasher - @moshekasher
Why: We interviewed Moshe late last year about his book Kasher in the Rye: The True Tale of a White Boy from Oakland Who Became a Drug Addict, Criminal, Mental Patient, and Then Turned 16 and have been fans ever since.
I got the Transformers logo tattoo like right when I met your Grandmother at the burlesque show she was dancing at. - You as a grandfather
— Moshe Kasher (@moshekasher) January 4, 2013
Patton Oswalt - @PattonOswalt
Followers: 1,087,938
Why: He had some of the best tweets throughout the 2012 elections, always has a witty historical reference up his sleeve and has a knack for live-tweeting the most curious events like the Lifetime drama Liz & Dick starring our cover girl Lindsay Lohan.
Prudes Don't Like Quaaludes & Other Song-Sketches #RejectedShelSilversteinPoems
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 19, 2012
Jose Canseco - @JoseCanseco
Followers: 486,427
Why: Did you know that Jose Canseco held a business meeting with himself this week on Twitter? Did you know that one of Jose Canseco’s New Year’s resolutions was to fight Shaq in an MMA cage match? These are two solid reasons why you need to be following him.
Hey @danecook thanks for the follow you are the 1988 Jose Canseco of comedy and i was you now then
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 3, 2013
Not Sports Center - @NOTSportsCenter
Followers: 88,979
Why: It’s like The Onion for sports, only better.
REPORT: Andy Reid is out as #Eagles coach. Sources are also projecting the sun to both rise and set tomorrow as well.
— NOT SportsCenter (@NOTSportsCenter) December 30, 2012
Humblebrag - @Humblebrag
Followers: 262,173
Why: While this account is purely retweets, the humblebrags they find are hilarious. Run by the guys at Grantland, they round up the best brags of the month and have even gotten a book deal out of it.
Best (re)Tweet:
Don't kick me out for wearing a cardigan RT @hughhefner Playboy's Midsummer Night's Dream Party tonight-- hottest Mansion party of the year.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) August 5, 2012
Modern Day Seinfeld - @SeinfeldToday
Followers: 307,457
Why: The only thing we’ve had that was even close to Seinfeld coming back was that one stint on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Some of the guys from Buzzfeed tweet new developments in the lives of our favorite characters.
Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend (Malin Akerman) because she live-tweets everything. "You're eating a bagel! I don't care! No one CARES!"
— Modern Seinfeld (@SeinfeldToday) December 31, 2012
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