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Up in Smoke: Are You Sexually Satisfied?
  • October 30, 2013 : 07:10
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Everyone wants to be sexually satisfied, but what does the term really entail? For us, it brings to mind lots of mutually enjoyable sex, exploring our kinks and fulfilling our desires to the absolute fullest. While there is no right or wrong answer to the question of how many times we should be having sex each week, we’d be content with at least five to eight. But is that really what everyone wants?

What is sexual satisfaction?

The Journal of Sex Research recently published a study that gathered 449 women and 311 men to answer the question “How do you define sexual satisfaction?” Of all the responses, the top two themes seemed to focus on “pleasure” and “mutuality.”

What struck us as interesting is there were only a few participants that answered with more self-centered words like “desire,” “arousal” or “orgasm.” So what does this all mean? People are assuming the term either means “the acknowledgement that our mutual understanding takes a material bodily form” or “physical and emotional satisfaction.”

Women's breast implants aid sexual satisfaction?

On the topic of selfish satisfaction, another study surfaced last week citing breast implants as a boost to women’s sexual pleasure. Of 45 women who received breast augmentation surgery, the 36 women who did not develop stretch marks post-op all reported higher levels of sexual arousal and satisfaction for at least a year and a half. While some doctors believe it’s due to the increase of confidence women feel after undergoing such surgeries, others believe it comes down to the increased effort they are putting into pleasing their male partners.

Partner's Motivation

Of course, pleasing your partner goes both ways. In an article titled Getting it On or Getting it Over With, researchers at the University of Toronto released the findings of three studies that show the two reasons why we engage in sex: Approach goals and avoidance goals. These two greatly impact the relationship’s quality and level of sexual satisfaction for their partner. Engaging in sex with a partner to pursue intimacy or to experience closeness promotes sexual desire, which in turn, enhances sexual and relationship satisfaction,” reads the article. “In contrast, pursing sex to avert negative consequences such as conflict or a partner’s disappointment diminishes sexual desire, and in turn, detracts from sexual and relationship quality."

In the end, it’s clear that no matter what you want out of your sexual relationships, if you want to feel satisfied you’re going to have to find someone who is on the same page as you are. That can’t be too hard, can it?

read more: Sex and Dating, sex, relationships, sex advice, up in smoke

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