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#AskPlayboy: Jenny Mollen On Boob Jobs
  • January 14, 2013 : 07:01
  • comments

Good news: my girlfriend wants to get a boob job! Bad news: she thinks that I should foot the bill. Yes, I will (hopefully) be the only person getting enjoyment out of them, but I really don’t think I should be paying for them. Maybe I should put her on a payment plan or something so she doesn’t have to put it all on her credit card, but I really think it’s ridiculous. Well, I mean, I have in the past talked about wanting her to get them done, but it’s her body, and ultimately if she decides that she agrees with me, she should be paying for them. What do you think?

Are you a fucking dick? You’ve talked in the past about wanting her to get them done, but you don’t feel like you should have to pay for them? How do you figure it’s your place to make any kind of critique about how a woman should surgically alter her body? Like botox, weight loss or even a new haircut, the only time a mate is allowed to comment on the enhancement is AFTER THE FUCKING ENHANCEMENT HAPPENS. You know what? I do think you should be paying for her new tits. If what you stated is true, that you’ll be the only one getting enjoyment out of them, this isn’t a girl who should be getting boobs in the first place.

I have no problem with breast augmentations as long as they are psychologically benefiting the human getting them. If this procedure has less to do with your girlfriend’s self-esteem and more to do with you being a shallow, controlling douche, you should 100 percent fork over the cash. If she were with a guy who accepted and loved her body without judgment, she might not be as eager to go under the knife in the first place. Other things that bothered me about your question: The words “payment plan.” (Are you her fucking father? This isn’t a new car.) Not finding anything strange about your girlfriend being desperate enough for a new rack that she’d be willing to put it on a credit card.  

“Ultimately it’s her body, but if she decides she agrees with me, she should be paying for them.” Bahahah! Do you not see the blatant hypocrisy in this statement? You want her to agree with YOU about HER body? I want you to agree with me that you should have your dick cut off and fed to you. Thoughts? My treat.


Jenny Mollen is a writer, actress and all-around gorgeous sassy badass who lives in L.A. with her dog Teets and husband Jason Biggs. She writes about her life on TheSmokingJacket.com in her highly popular column What She Said. Follow her on Twitter at @JennyAndTeets and on Instagram at JennyAndTeets2.

read more: Sex and Dating, sex advice, ask playboy, boobs

14 comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I agree with Jenny, 100%. That guy is a douchenozzle
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    he's a dick, dump him and move on.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I disagree. I like my girl all natural. I don't want an artificial woman. When I hold my girl, I should know am holding a real human being and not a factory manufacture rubber or tupperware.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Jenny, you are BRILLIANT!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Wow, this is absolutely horrible and not at all funny or insightful.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Wow! What a dick! Good on her for putting him in his place!!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Love this!! Dude is a douche
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Stupidest thing I've ever read
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I agree with you a hundred percent, Jenny. The poor girl should dump that douche as soon as possible. What an ass!
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