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#AskPlayboy: An Introduction to Men
  • August 27, 2012 : 15:08
  • comments

Gentlemen,

Welcome to my latest experiment. I am the Coquette, and I've carved out this little corner in the hallowed halls of Playboy to spread around a thick layer of brutal truth on the current state of modern masculinity in the hopes that some of it sticks to the back of your eyeballs.

This column is about your American manhood — whether you're comfortable with it, still looking for it, or don't know what to do with it — I'm here to shoot you straight. There will be no bullshit. There will be no coddling. I'm not your mother, I'm not your girlfriend, and I'm sure as hell not here to sell you anything. I'm only here to give damned good advice, and maybe bust a few balls along the way.

We're gonna go deep, fellas. No topic is out of bounds. We'll be talking about everything from orgasm etiquette to existential crisis management. I'll do my level best to make you more appealing to whichever gender you're trying to fuck. I'll show you how even the beard shavings in your sink are linked to self-actualization. I'll get you to stop treating your life like it has a scoreboard, and I'll talk you down from the ledges of ignorance, narcissism, and general douchebaggery.

The real trick is that I won't be telling you how to be a man. Fuck that. I'd much rather tell you why to be a man. The world is already full of authority figures and corporate interests trying to shape your definition of a "real man." Almost all of them are full of shit, and I'll do what I can to help you spot their hidden agendas.

If I do my job right, you'll come away with a deeper understanding of contemporary sexuality, gender politics, and perhaps even your own identity. You'll learn that sharpening your critical thinking skills is the secret to developing your own personal style, and you'll start to recognize what parts of our culture are toxic in your pursuit of manhood.

Of course, this is all meant to be a conversation, so if you have something to say, I want to hear from you. Feel free to email me at dearcoquette@playboy.com or tweet to @Playboy using the hash tag #AskPlayboy with whatever's on your mind.

Thanks for taking the time to actually read the articles, and be sure to come back every week. I promise, this is gonna be fun.

With love and respect,

The Coquette

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Follow The Coquette on twitter here.

read more: Sex and Dating, ask coquette, sex advice, dating advice

38 comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Love Coquette. Her advice column is brilliant!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Dear Ms Coquette, you wouldn't know a real man if it bit you on the ass........it takes a gay man to understand the workings of the male psyche. Just admit to your male readers the only thing a woman is interested in is the size of a man's bank balance(Fifty shades of grey) don't try to bullshit them that women are deep and mysterious, they are just shallow money grabbing wannabees. All the best to your post in Playboy i will be keeping an eye on you.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Nothing like a woman trying to tell men why to be men, pathetic.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    fucking unbelievable. i'm a girl, and i can't wait to read this.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Coquette, this is going to be great. @yawn, yet you commented. That right there says it all you miserable fuck.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I've been loving The Coquette on Tumblr for a long time. She's the real deal. I can't wait to read this column. (I'm a woman, BTW, for what it's worth.)
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Come on, guys, don't disappoint me here. Read this article and take it seriously - it'll do everyone good.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Coquette doesn't pull any bullshit. She knows what's up.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I'm willing to see where she goes with this...but she is fallible.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Really? A woman writing about men? I'll bookmark this and watch the progression of her articles. She clearly writes well.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Men already have a beacon of guiding light and advice, his name is Bill Burr.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Coquette, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I find the Coquette somewhat endearing and all, but taking advice from a woman on being a man is never going to amount to much in your best favor. You see, coketalk or "coquette" is a careerist fembot, a rather clever one though, make no mistake. She is likely in her mid thirties, single, never married, a sex positive feminist, and insists that differences between men and women, with regard to sexuality, are socially learned and not biological, and thus immutable. So she's going to sell you a lot of dreams on how you shouldn't judge the quality of the women you date by the number of partners they've had because it's a patriarchial conspiracy to oppress women and has nothing to do with the fact that women's ability to bond in a relationship decreases with each partner count or that men value paternal certainty. I suggest that none of you men waste any serious effort trying to get any genuine advice from this woman. If you are seriously looking to increase your quality of life as a man, google "heartiste" and "rationalmale" (both wordpress blogs) and check out "girlwriteswhat" on youtube. Anything else is a waste of time. Good luck, gentleman.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    I'm really into this stuff. I have lot's of books on how to handle your women, how to be a man, how to look for red flags, and I manage a hedonistic lifestyle, so I'll be clinging to the edge of my seat. So we follow you on Twitter, is that how we get in the pipeline?
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    As a father, I struggle with how to be a "male" example to my sons. I may be an 'out-of-date' man teaching my sons an old style. What are the top three things I should teach my sons about being a man?
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    You fuckin' rock, I can't wait
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Can't wait to hear what the Coquette has to say to these anonymous men who think that only men know how to be a man (aka. a decent human being). I'll grab the popcorn.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    This coming from people who take pictures of themselves naked for a living... good luck with that. Somehow, I think the message is going to get lost.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Wish i knew how to pernounce this shit
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    She's a fuckin poet.Whats she look like?
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    "whichever gender you're trying to fuck." - She knows she's writing for Playboy, right?
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    hilarious! more fun times a-head!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    The best choice Playboy could ever make. And I'm so glad it's not in the print magazine- even coke would tell you it's no longer culturally relevant.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    "I'll show you how even the beard shavings in your sink are linked to self-actualization. " Great; can't wait. This pseudo-intellectual post-feminist hedonistic bitch character... yawn.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    you will all be fantasizing about her before you finish her next column.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    This is the smartest thing Playboy could produce this year. She's awesome. Definitely gonna read.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    rought toppic but as a "man" i agree if you let someone tell you how to be a man it wont end well
  • THOMAS
    THOMAS
    I do not hesistate to stress, "masculinity is not learned," and 'how and 'why,' to be a man, likewise cannot be taught. Masculinity cannot be expressed using words. Yet all things are defined in reference to masculinity. Let me attempt to give some clue: masculinity is sacrifice.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    It's hard to get my man to crack a smile. He was definitely grinning while reading this.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    "If I do my job right, you'll come away with a deeper understanding of contemporary sexuality, gender politics, and perhaps even your own identity. You'll learn that sharpening your critical thinking skills is the secret to developing your own personal style, and you'll start to recognize what parts of our culture are toxic in your pursuit of manhood." This part is beautiful. Can't wait!
  • anon
    anon
    omg go coquette!!! i love your advice. and i wonder if any of these "waah wah women can't write about men" misogynists have noticed any correlation between their boorish attitudes about women and their inability to get laid.
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