's Picks 2013: The New Year

By Staff

Supposing the world hasn't ended, here's what we have to look forward to in 2013.

Every year about this time, lists recapping the year’s best whatever start to surface, and we’re telling you right now, they’re all bogus, save ours.

Over the next few weeks,’s Picks 2012 will provide you with the year in review, from movies to music to viral trends, political and celebrity scandals and even ideas. We’re showcasing the year’s best across the board and on tap this week we’ve got what to look forward to in the coming year, 2013.

Check out’s Picks for Movies, Music, Top Viral Trends, Celebrity Scandals, Tirades and Big Ideas.

TV (in general)

Be it season three of Game of Thrones, season four of Boardwalk Empire and Justified, Louis C.K.’s HBO special or the return of Arrested Development, television has a proverbial buffet on tap for 2013. How will Nucky’s play on Arnold Rothstein turn out? Will the Arrested Development cast turn even more meta, making a movie about making a movie to oppose the making of a movie? Will Natalie Zea keep getting hotter (pregnancy be damned), and how naked will Emilia Clarke get (also something about a war)? The Chinese horoscopes say this is the year of the Black Snake, but we’re thinking it’s more like the Year of the Sloth.

The Next Generation of Gaming Systems

It seems like only yesterday we were lining up to scope out the next best thing: PS3, Xbox 360, the Wii. Well, game developers have been busy little beavers and are shooting for some time in 2013 to launch the PS4 and the Xbox 720. Early reviewers are already saying these new platforms harness enough power to fuel a small island nation for several years and may in fact cause total blindness from graphic-induced awesomeness.

Sony certainly hopes so; they posted a 6.4 billion dollar loss in 2012, so deploying a gaming system that blinds most customers will take the pressure off their design department.

The Actual End of the World

Assuming you are around to read this, December 21st likely came and went with little calamity. No supervolcanoes. No rapture. No colliding with the planet Nibiru. Nothing to really signal the impending apocalypse. But none of that is likely to deter the Doomsdayers…

They’ve now got another date in mind, March 31st, 2013, when another anciently inscribed calendar ends, so be prepared to see at least a few more disheveled lunatics speaking in tongues carrying “The end is nigh” signs on city corners, but don’t go out of your way to prepare; we’re willing to say this is but another false alarm.

That said, one thing you might want to prepare for is an actual solar flare: not the Star Trek exploding, planet-engulfing kind; the slightly less unhinged and scientifically sound kind. Scientists speculate that sometime in July, our sun will begin emitting large radiation bursts that could disrupt telecommunications—everything from cell phones to radio, television to the internet—so in a way it’s kind of like the end of the world. We’ll all be forced to talk to each other for perhaps more than five-minute periods and may miss key conjunctures of summer TV reruns we’ve already watched twice. It will indeed be mayhem.


While the meteoric rise of Justin Bieber continues to woo the swarms of preteen girls who apparently dictate the top 20 charts, 2012 also saw the return of some staples: Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, Bruce Springsteen and the Stones. That trend will continue in 2013, though it won’t go so far back. Anyone born in the ’80s will be happy to hear that Tool, Mötley Crüe, Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains have albums on tap for 2013; anyone born just a bit before that will be happy to know that Judas Priest and Black Sabbath (the real Black Sabbath, Ozzy and all) are also set for new releases. So yeah; go fuck yourself, Justin Bieber.

12 New Playmates

Finally, 2013 means 12 new Playmates. This year our covers were graced by the likes of Heather Knox, Leola Bell, Raquel Pomplun, Amelia Talon, Pamela Horton and Britany Nola, and while we can’t divulge who we’ve got in store for 2013, if 2012 was any indication we should be in for a very, very good year.


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