Crystal dishes on the nightlife that happens behind closed doors
Since launching my blog in June, I’ve covered the ins and outs of finding your nightlife outside of the home…but what happens at night behind closed doors is a whole other story, and a whole other nightlife altogether. Which brings me to my newest obsession: SHEEX. If you haven’t heard about them, you will, and if you have and don’t own a set, then I’m confused.
In the simplest terms, SHEEX feel just like that Nike Dri-FIT material—soft, stretchy and made to enhance “performance.” They come in all colors and sizes (try Bed, Bath & Beyond) and I promise you’ll thank me after you switch out whatever’s currently hugging your mattress for a set of these like-heaven sheets. Wanting to see what all the hype was about, my boy and I tested out the sheets last weekend and, I mean, WOW. When I tell you I had the best sleep of my life (by way of the best dot dot dot of my life), I kid you not.
I may have had a little too much fun documenting my first SHEEX-perience (see gallery), but it brought back some of my favorite in-the-bedroom memories (and some of the tragic ones) and got me thinking about why some post-going out nights have been better than others. Which brings us to this week’s Do’s and Don’ts checklist every guy should have memorized in the name of bedroom protocol.
For the nights you unexpectedly take a girl home from the bar, I give you 10 make-or-break tips that will come in handy at the end of your nightlife:
DON’T have lube and condoms visible. DO have them available. (Make sure the bottle is a fresh, unopened one because pulling out a half-empty one gives off the wrong impression.)
DON’T have any “ex” files lying around (i.e. pictures, razors, toothbrush). DO have friend/family/pet pics in plain view—great conversation starters.
DON’T keep your porn on display (Playboy is okay). DO make sure you have clean sheets. Stains from last night’s escapade are never cute.
DON’T have your bed on the floor—sans bed frame—like you did in college. DO invest in SHEEX!
DON’T have your cell ringer on, should another girl (or worse, an ex) call. DO have a workable playlist ready to go for setting the mood.
Now if you’re in a relationship, these tips don’t really apply. That said, I’ve always been a believer that it’s never too late to spice things up in the bedroom and between the sheets. Role-playing? Love it. Costumes? Not just for Halloween! Orgies? Not really my thing, but I’ll definitely be checkin' out A Good Old Fashioned Orgy when it hits theaters next weekend. And yeah, I’ll admit that watching a little porn with the bf is sometimes just what the (sex) doctor ordered.
What kinds of things do YOU experiment with in the bedroom? Leave me a comment or send me a tweet @CrystalMcCahil. Don’t be shy!