We've all been there: that panicky moment when you decide to officially approach that cute girl (or guy) you've been eyeing all night...before you miss your chance. Do you lead with a joke? Comment on the weather?
Worry no further! I’m here to help you get rid of your pickup fear (and those awful pickup lines!) so that you come closer to getting the girl’s actual digits than the “Come here often?” guy. Below are my five tried-and-true tips for helping you bring your A-game, whether you’re at a packed club, a quiet lounge or that go-to dive around the corner:
#1 Breathe. Now go talk to her. Introduce yourself, and keep it simple. Then offer to buy her a drink or, if she's with friends, a group shot. Note: You can never go wrong with the Lemon Drop shot. It goes down easy and is usually available.
#2 Compliment her. Not to be confused with telling her she looks “hot.” Go with “nice” or “pretty” to avoid coming off like a jerk. Complimenting a girl’s outfit or smile (or any other feature that jumps out) is always a safe bet, and it immediately lets her know you’re interested.
#3 Ask questions. Get her talking and actually listen to what she’s saying, even if your mind is telling you to rapidly think of your next question. Big points for eye contact and smiling.
#4 Stay attentive. Even if the next Jessica Alba just happens to strut by, do not check her out! I don’t care how big her chest is or how damn good her ass looks in that dress. The last thing a girl should wonder about is whether she’s just one of a string of girls you’ll be hitting on that night. No wandering eyes, boys!
#5 Get her number, not her Facebook friendship. (Because no one likes a FB stalker.) It’s as easy as this: “I’d like to take you out some time. Can I get your number?” Now, this step differs slightly depending on the situation. If you feel like the chemistry is strong, the conversation was natural and the overall vibe between the two of you is clearly mutual, ask to take her to brunch the next day. I know what you’re thinking: too soon, too aggressive, bla bla bla. But that’s where you men have it wrong! If a girl is genuinely interested in a guy, she will drop almost anything to see him again.
I have to get up early for this “thing.” Excuse!
I have to go into the office tomorrow. Excuse!
I already have plans. Excuse!
Even if she does have to wake up early or work on a Sunday, she’ll find a way for coffee, eggs and an hour with the guy she’s already texted her girl friends about. Hell, she probably won’t sleep that night.
If you can't sense her interest, take her number and text or call her (yes, call her) when you get home. If you haven’t had enough liquid courage to pick up the phone, send a simple text letting her know it was great meeting her. Then ask to see her again at some point during the week. Wait a day or two or three and you’ve already entered into “game-playing” territory. Nobody likes the game, and nobody likes a player. It’s that simple.
And with that I leave you with a clip from the classic nightlife movie, Swingers. Watch and (don’t) learn.
Nightlife tip of the week: Don’t be bummed if it doesn’t work out! There will always be roadblocks that get in the way of getting the girl, no matter how smooth you deliver those first words. Maybe she’s getting over a bad break-up or is out with her all-girl circle of bff’s who want nothing to do with guys on “ladies night.” Half of a successful pickup is timing and luck. Sorry boys. The other half just takes a little courage, confidence and class and before you know it, you’re going home with a new number and the promise of a kickass first date…which is a whole other ball game.
MY worst pickup story? I was off-duty from bartending, sitting at the bar at Level (a Chicago nightclub that is sadly no longer). A guy who had recently seen the very same episode of The Pickup Artist as I had approached me with every single tip mentioned on the show...which resulted in him asking to read my palm. I didn't have the heart to tell him no, but as soon as he released my hand, I immediately headed out. Note to self: Never be the palm reader guy.
Pick My Party Look: Thanks to all who voted in last week's poll! This week I need your help with my last nightlife look for going out in L.A. before I head back to Chicago.