“No means should be tried which are doubtful in their effects, which are likely to cause injury to the body, which involve the death of animals, and which bring us in contact with impure things.” – The Kama Sutra, Part VII, Chapter I: “On Subjugating The Hearts Of Others”
On the topic of going out of your way to impress a woman, the Kama Sutra offers the above advice. And while it may seem obvious that self-mutilation and animal slaughter are not the most direct routes to a woman’s heart, the ancient alternatives suggested by the good book aren’t exactly givens:
“If the bone of a peacock or of a hyena be covered with gold, and tied on the right hand, it makes a man lovely in the eyes of other people.”
“Drinking milk, mixed with sugar, and having the testicle of a ram or a goat boiled in it, is also productive of vigor.”
“In the same way, if a man mixes rice with the eggs of the sparrow, and having boiled this in milk, adds to it ghee and honey, and drinks as much of it as necessary…he will be able to enjoy innumerable women.”
First of all, two of three involve, at some point in the process, the death of an animal. And the third…well, the third seems to present a problematic issue of process: do we “drink as much as necessary” until we are sleeping with innumerable women? That’s like saying beat eggs until you have a cake. Steps are missing. If we’re going to be drinking something that sounds like the equivalent of trough gruel, we’re going to need to know when to stop.