Lesbian Sex Tips: Up Your Foreplay & Dirty Talk

By Playboy.com Staff

Share

<p> </p><p>What can a straight guy learn about sex from women who love women? Quite a bit.&nbsp;</p>


What can a straight guy learn about sex from women who love women? It turns out there’s quite a bit we can all learn from how lesbians get it on. Jincey Lumpkin, Esq. is a connoisseur of beautiful ladies, a sex advice columnist, a former lawyer and a lesbian pornographer and she’s spilling the secrets of lesbian sex to Playboy.com in order to make better lovers of us all. Here she is giving us some insight on foreplay and talking dirty.

Playboy.com: There’s a stereotype that dudes hate foreplay. How important is it? Do you find lesbians better at foreplay?

Lumpkin: I don’t know. Do dudes hate it? I’m not sure that’s true. I think that “foreplay” is bad phrasing, because the entire word is that it’s something you have to do in order to get to the “real play.” However, what I’m suggesting is that you throw out the entire notion of the tit-for-tat sort of sex that you are used to having and think of everything as sex.

When you erase the line, you will open yourself up to the possibility of new experiences. Be honest: do you want her to touch your dick because she thinks she has to or because she’s dying to? Throw out the routine.

Everyone is different. You will have to discover what each of you likes. What actually turns her on, as opposed to what she thinks turns her on because she read about it in Cosmo once. Same goes for you. The best thing is that once you start building trust and better sexual communication, it becomes easier to ask for the things that you want. Ask and you shall receive!

Playboy.com: Do you have dirty talk hints? For some reason my girlfriend doesn’t always like it when I call her dirty names in the sack.

Lumpkin: It is fucking hard to be a woman. We get a lot of negativity on a daily basis. Being called a bitch stings on a very deep level. We are shamed about our bodies and about sexuality at every turn. I certainly love to be called a “bad girl” and a “little slut” in bed, preferably while being slapped, but that WILL NOT FLY with every woman. The discussion about dirty names should most certainly be had before attempting this sort of pillow talk.

You don’t have to lean over a steak dinner and say, “So, do you mind if I call you a whore while I fuck you?” However, what you can do is, during sex, before you start dirty talking, lean into her ear and whisper in a sexy but gentle voice, “Would you like it if I called you dirty names?” If she says, “No, I don’t like that,” then let it go. However, if she says, “Oh, yes!” then say something like, “Mmmm, I’d like that. What do you like to be called?”

There’s no need to interrupt what you are doing. In fact, that can be a big turnoff. Instead, try to incorporate this kind of boundary-checking sexy talk into sex on a regular basis. Say, “What if I call you a slut? Would you like that?” Look at her face, feel the way her body reacts. Does it move up to meet you? Does she get wet? Does she nod?

We all have to gain experience at verbalizing sexuality. It can be sexy and fun. It does not have to be awkward.

Jincey Lumpkin, Esq. is the “Chief Sexy Officer” of Juicy Pink Box. She’s a former lawyer, a diva and a lover of breasts. She pens sex columns in both The Huffington Post and Curve Magazine. Known as “Lesbian Hugh Hefner,” Lumpkin is widely recognized as an expert in women’s sexuality, having lectured at TEDx & Harvard University. Out Magazine named her “one of the most influential gay people in the world.” Follow her on Twitter @JuicyJincey.


Share

Categories

Playboy Social