Lesbian Sex Tips for Men: Kink and Picking Up

By Playboy.com Staff

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<p>Sex advice columnist, former lawyer, breast lover and lesbian pornographer Jincey Lumpkin, Esq. is here with her insights for men on kink, picking up and anal play.<br></p>


What sex tricks can a straight man learn from how lesbians get it on? Are there any sexual secrets that girls who love girls can clue guys into? Sex advice columnist, former lawyer, breast lover and lesbian pornographer Jincey Lumpkin, Esq. says yes! Here are Lumpkin’s insights for men on kink, picking up and anal play. 

Playboy.com: I’m interested in kinkier sex but nervous about introducing the idea to my girlfriend. How do I start?

Lumpkin: A little while ago, I suggested that you talk about boundaries during dirty talk. I think that it’s much easier to talk about sex while having it, as opposed to having a civilized chat over a steak dinner.

You can say something like, “Baby, you’re so sexy. I’ve always wanted to tie you up. Can we try that sometime?” Or, you can be bolder about it, and pin her arms down and say, “I want to fuck you hard while you’re cuffed to the bed.”

What’s interesting is that most of my guy friends want to be dominated sexually, and they are super embarrassed about it. I can understand that! Don’t worry! I think the easiest way to experiment with dominance and submission is to do role-playing. You can try the time-tested teacher/student role-play with a bit of spanking. All you have to say is, “It gets me so fucking hard thinking of you being in control.”

The bottom line is that honesty will get you what you want. It will also help build intimacy and closeness, so that you continue to get what you want. Let your freak flag fly, boys!

Playboy.com: I’m having a hard time just meeting women and getting out on a date. From a woman’s perspective, what’s the best way for me to make a pass if I’m out and an intriguing woman catches my eye? Is there any way that a lesbian picks up that’s different from how a straight man charges in?

Lumpkin: It’s funny. A lot of my guy friends—Good-looking guys with great jobs!—tell me that they are having a hard time meeting women. There are so many options now on how to meet people; we’re spoiled by choice. Of course there are online options like Tinder, Match, eHarmony and even Facebook.

I always suggest to people that they go out and do activities that interest them to meet people. I know it sounds really squeaky-clean, but it’s true! If you’re looking for love, sometimes a bar is not the best place to find someone. You can join volunteer organizations to find a hottie with a heart.

I’ve been hit on by men and women. Probably more men than women, truth be told. What I can say is that cheesy pickup lines do not work. If you’re at a bar, I think the old-fashioned, “Hi there, could I buy you a drink?” works best. You’d be surprised how many guys are too terrified to speak to a good-looking woman. If you can push past that fear, you’ll be leaps and bounds ahead of tons of other guys.

I think lesbians do a lot more “browsing” and flirting. We might sit across the room (or the subway platform or whatever) and give you the “eye fuck.” But I don’t recommend that dudes do that, because it has a higher chance of making a woman feel uncomfortable.

Playboy.com: Do you recommend our readers experiment with anal play? Isn’t it scary and taboo?

Lumpkin: Hell yes, experiment! The wonders of the ass are really something else. And, seriously, why not? If it feels good, do it! Many people are worried about it being dirty. It can be. I mean, you shit out of that hole. One way to clear the road is to do an enema, but it’s not always necessary

Also, maybe have her try fucking you in the ass using the same techniques, either with her fingers or a strap-on. Liking anal sex does not make you gay. I’ve heard that through anal, men can have an even stronger orgasm than they normally do. I have no idea if this is true, because I do not have a dick. In the case of her fucking you in the ass, you can jerk off while she does it, or she can do a reach-around. Whatever works.

Try it on her. Try it yourself. Just please don’t miss this opportunity to make full use of all the parts of your body during sex. Don’t fall prey to the “exit only” mentality; you’re just robbing yourself of even better sex.

Jincey Lumpkin, Esq. is the “Chief Sexy Officer” of Juicy Pink Box. She’s a former lawyer, a diva and a lover of breasts. She pens sex columns in both The Huffington Post and Curve Magazine. Known as “Lesbian Hugh Hefner,” Lumpkin is widely recognized as an expert in women’s sexuality, having lectured at TEDx and Harvard University. Out Magazine named her “one of the most influential gay people in the world.” Follow her on Twitter @JuicyJincey.


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