Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw 3D

Director: John Luessenhop

MPAA Rating: R

Studio: Twisted Pictures

Look, we’re not fooling ourselves here. You’ve already decided whether or not you're up for Texas Chainsaw 3D—the sixth useless installment of the franchise—so nothing we write is going to persuade you not to throw away your money. For fence-straddlers, though, here’s our bullet-point rundown of what you probably most want to know.

What’s it about? Picking up right after the action of director Tobe Hooper’s unforgettable 1974 grindhouse classic, this John Luessenhop–directed sequel has a vengeful Leatherface surviving the fire at his house and lurking in the cellar of a basement estate inherited by Heather (Alexandra Daddario), where he waits to slaughter her, her boyfriend Ryan (Tremaine Neverson, a.k.a. singer Trey Songz) and several hot, half-naked others using meat hooks, bullets and, of course, the 3D-ready chainsaw.

Is it gory? Very.

How’s the 3D? Obvious and idiotic.

Is it worth the time? Only for Chainsaw completists, sheep or gluttons for punishment. Our work here is done.