As you all well know, Jaime is the fiery red-haired type. Well this weekend she got into a bar fight. The following is a true story and the final word on what actually happened.
Anyone who follows me on Twitter might know a little bit of the story I’m about to tell. I was involved in a minor altercation this weekend that turned into a major one that turned into one of my patented redheaded rants that will now appear in this blog. And if Lame Golf Guys or Guy Drinking all the Haterade at The Rack in South Tampa are reading this, I win. Final word, right here.
But before I get all fired up again, I’d like to congratulate Dale Earnhardt Jr. on his first major win in four years, ending a 143-race drought. FOUR YEARS! And he won it convincingly, finishing well ahead of the pack. To turn a phrase, he’s over it. Someone who isn’t over a four-year drought (and the rant sort of starts here) is Tiger Woods. But I’m over him. Seriously, guys, Tiger hasn’t won anything worth noting in FOUR YEARS! Yet every time anyone talks about golf, they’re talking about Tiger, Tiger this and Tiger that. He just had one of the worst finishes of his career (tied for 21st) and we’re still talking about Tiger. Well, I’m done. In no other sport would we waste so much time talking about someone who hasn’t won. I’m done. I’m over it. But some people aren’t (this is where the rant really starts). I was at my favorite sports bar last night to watch Game Three of the Finals and these four guys dressed in golf garb like they just came from Augusta are sitting there expecting people to be quiet while they watch the U.S. Open. At a sports bar. During the NBA Finals. An amazing NBA Finals. In Florida. While the Miami Heat are playing. And they want all the TVs in the place to show golf and they want everyone to be quiet… Seriously, guys!? If you want to watch golf, go home. Go watch it on your couch, with beer, where you can give little dainty claps you want. I couldn’t believe it. Picture me fighting with four golf dudes over watching the Miami Heat in a crowded sports bar in South Tampa. Whose side do you think the bar was on? Golf at a rowdy bar? Those guys need to get over it (or themselves or whatever). So I moved to the end of the bar where normal people were watching the basketball game and I guess I was a little fired up ’cause I immediately got into another altercation over LeBron James. This is where my redhead rant took off. I went into full-blown “you won’t get a word in edgewise” mode ’cause quite frankly, I’m soooooooo over LeBron haters. So over it. So the guy choked a couple times. Do you know what his playoff averages are? Try 28.5 points a game, 8.7 rebounds and 6.6 assists. Those are like Larry Bird numbers. Karl Malone numbers. Numbers that make you stand up and say “That guy is good.” He’s good. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. LeBron James is great and I’m over the haters. So over them.