My wife is a vegetarian. She’s worried that she might be ingesting meat by-products when she swallows my semen. Can you put her mind at ease?
—J.F., Toms River, New Jersey
For your sake, we’d better. Vegetarians don’t eat meat because of concerns for the welfare of animals, or because they believe it’s healthier. Assure your wife that no living thing suffered in the production of your semen. Semen contains protein but no meat, eggs or fish, and it’s low-fat. Even vegans, who are stricter about the rules, agree that swallowing isn’t an issue. We found this at eatveg.com: “Oral sex is vegan even though it may involve putting flesh in your mouth, as it shouldn’t involve any cruelty or exploitation, and said flesh is eventually returned to its owner.” By the way, many women report that vegetarians’ semen tastes better.
I love to give my husband blowjobs, but he wants me to swallow and I can't stand the taste. I’ve heard that drinking pineapple juice helps prevent funky spunk. Exactly how much pineapple juice should a man consume, and how often, to alter the taste of his semen? And how soon should I expect to notice a change?
—M.L. Virginia Beach, Virginia
Many female readers insist that, in their experience, fruit juices work when consumed in large enough quantities at least a day before. But that could have more to do with him being well hydrated, which may dilute what's commonly described as a bleachy, salty or bitter taste. Some women have told us they are happier swallowing when their partner eats less junk food and red meat. One reader swears a sex shake from the book The Clitoral Kiss: A Fun Guide to Oral Sex works wonders as well. The recipe: 2 teaspoons honey, 1 cup milk, 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon, 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger, 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg, 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves and 1 egg. Sounds like eggnog to us.
Years ago I dated a woman who loved giving head and said she could tell what I had eaten by the flavor of my come. Her accuracy was uncanny. I thought it was strange at the time but never questioned her. (My need to nut superseded my need to know.) I was wondering if this has any basis in science.
—B.R., Denver, Colorado
A lot of women have written over the years to assure us they have amazing powers of seminal detection. (In fact, scientists have found some people are “supertasters,” which might explain it.) But we suspect for most people semen tastes like semen. We are often pitched products that purport to resolve the “problem” of ejaculate, but we’ve yet to hear from a man whose life has changed as a result. The latest are oral strips designed to hide the taste of semen, which we find a bit discouraging. Ejaculate isn’t something to savor, perhaps, but it’s part of our modus operandi. Love us; love our semen.
For answers to reasonable questions relating to food and drink, fashion and taste, sex and dating, write the Playboy Advisor, 9346 Civic Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 90210, or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.